Current Playlist

     I should warn you, things could get a little trippy. 

1. "The Space In Between" By How To Destroy Angels 
2. "Ball And Chain" By Janis Joplin
3. "Us And Them" By Pink Floyd
4. "America" By Simon And Garfunkel 
5. "Young And Beautiful" By Lana Del Rey 
6. "Mr. Self Destruct" By Nine Inch Nails 
7. "Breathe" By Pink Floyd 
8. "Jeremy" By Pearl Jam 
9. "Dumb" By Nirvana 
10. "3/5th Of A Mile In 10 Seconds" By Jefferson Airplane

I Am Not Anti-Capitalism

   

      (GASP)
     "How can you have the audacity to call yourself pro-capitalism when you are a Bohemian?"
     First of all, because Bohemians try to create the counterculture, which is obviously the exact polar opposite of mainstream culture. And at this point in our history, it is safe to say that the hippies influenced enough of our society to have college-age students blame Wall Street for how they can't get jobs, and then they go on to promote socialism and protest capitalism while tweeting on their iPhones and clutching their $6 Starbucks coffee. (See above photo). So if you're anti-capitalism, then who made your clothes? Who packaged your food? Who pre-mixed your coffee from that little cafe down the street, and who made the cup it's poured into? Corporations, that's who!
     Are they bad? When they exploit workers and put consumers in danger, sure. But they're a necessary evil. People seem to forget that every corporation started out as a small business, or that these companies provide millions and millions of jobs in a struggling economy. They seem to forget that they help sponsor political figures (shh--that's a secret!), even the ones that claim to stand up for the little guy. BULLSHIT!
     Here is something I will admit: Bohemians can be lazy. They appreciate hard work, but they prefer certain things to be handed to them, and that is one part of their philosophy I do not agree with. Please be a hardworking Bohemian if you are a Bohemian at all. Suffer for your art, starve for your soul, do something productive that can benefit someone else. Don't blame Wall Street. Don't blame the corporations. Don't blame CEO's.
     If you enjoy the benefits of capitalism but hate it when it requires you to work, then you might be a Hipster. Profit is not poison; it makes the world go round. So don't claim to be anti-establishment when you own an Apple product and drink Starbucks. This is why I can't say I'm anti-capitalist: because I am sitting in front of a motherfucking Apple computer and writing a freaking blog!
   
   

Getting Out Of A Creative Rut

What Each Pinterest Category Is Like

     After scrolling through Pinterest for some time I have come to realize that the same content appears over and over again in each category. Allow me to explain:

     Popular: Cakes, memes, scarf-jeans-coffee ensembles, recipes with at least three different foods in their name, kid's activities, wedding dresses, tattoos, overdone "inspirational" quotes.

     Everything: A culmination of everything you will see below. 

     Holiday gifts: Stuff that women want to buy their husbands; does not usually deviate from wallets, shoes, watches, and outdoor gear.

     Videos: Craft-making tutorials and fuzzy music videos. 

     Place Boards: Mostly just trips nobody can afford. 

     Animals: Baby animals....and not much else, except for cat memes. 

     Architecture: Very few normal buildings; only bizarre, expensive ones. 

     Art: Online artists and obscure modern artists. 

     Cars and Motorcycles: Vintage cars you will never, ever find. 

     Celebrities: Hot dudes and people who are part of fandoms. 

     Design: Greeting cards, fonts, and color wheels, basically. 

     DIY & Crafts: Mason jars! Pastel colors! Crochet projects you will never finish once you've started them! 

     Education: Print-outs for kindergarteners. 

     Film, Music, and Books: Disney, Hunger Games, Downton Abbey, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Sherlock. 

     Food and Drink: Cupcakes, cocktails, casseroles. 

     Gardening: Pictures of plants that any normal person would have dead in three days.

     Geek: Things that literally scream "Please acknowledge that I am a female nerd". 

     Hair and Beauty: Braids, braids, more braids AND....crazy nails. 

     Health and Fitness: Already feeling guilt for those extra couple of pounds? Get ready to take your antidepressents....

     History: Victorian dresses and people pinning things from their childhood. 

     Holidays and Events: Elaborate, over-the-top party ideas for toddlers who won't even remember the party anyway. 

     Home Decor: Everything must be distressed, neutral-colored, and have ruffles. Oh, and uncomfortable-looking furniture. 

     Humor: Making fun of the girly things you see on Pinterest and then going right back to pinning them. 

     Illustrations and Posters: Solid colors and geometric shapes in different arrangements. 

     Kids: What mother has the time and sanity to do these things?

     Men's Fashion: Ties and suits. That is it. 

     Outdoors: Fancy RV's and recipes for things that you really shouldn't try to make while camping.

     Photography: Weddings, graduations, pregnancy....did I say weddings? 

     Products: Expensive jewelry and appliances you can't afford. 

     Quotes: "New Age" sayings printed in a stupid-looking "indie" font over a watercolor background.

     Science and Nature: Space....and pictures most likely taken from National Geographic. 

     Sports: Football, basketball, cheerleading, baseball, soccer, and tennis. Oh, and clothing with team logos on it.

     Tattoos: Quotes, anchors, infinity symbols, birds. (Are these really the only tattoos girls get?)

     Technology: Badass stuff that hasn't been invented yet and...you guessed it....you can't afford anyway! 

     Travel: Ever wanted to know how to pack a suitcase 700 different ways with stuff you didn't really need to bring in the first place? 

     Weddings: You can guarantee these ideas have been done several times already. 

     Women's Fashion: Outfits are composed of a shirt, cardigan, scarf, jeans, boots, and probably a coffee cup in her hand. And the colors are all monotone. 

     

"Forrest Gump" Film Review

     So I finally got to watch Forrest Gump from front to back without interruption and it was...pretty freaking amazing! Honestly, what else would someone be able to say about this movie? It is a movie that almost everyone will be able to appreciate, from its cultural references to the complex characters we can't help but root for the entire time. 

     The story is exactly what it says on the poster: this is the tale of one simple, American man's life (or at least, most of it anyway). It follows Tom Hanks as Forrest Gump, a friendly but incredibly naïve boy from Alabama who must walk with leg braces and bear the unfortunate circumstance of everyone believing he will never amount to much. But by a stroke of luck, he meets a young girl named Jenny on one of his first days of school and they become instant friends; their relationship is only strengthened when he learns to break free from his leg braces, and he therefore gains the ability to run "faster than the wind" as he puts it. With his friendship with Jenny carrying into high school, Forrest gains the attention of the football team, then colleges, and finally the military. While he is deployed in Vietnam, he finds a new ally in Bubba and manages to save a few men in his platoon, including his not-so-grateful captain. He eventually makes it to Washington DC to receive a few honors, where he finally meets up with Jenny, who has since become a hippie but is also in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend. As Forrest finds himself in some of the most significant events of the 60's and 70's, he encounters several presidents, a handful of famous musicians, starts a shrimp company, and helps create the trademark Smiley Face. And though Jenny begins to fall down a slippery slope of bad company, drugs, and depression, she consistently battles her true feelings for Forrest, who of course will always be waiting for her to show up again. 

     This movie is widely regarded as one of the best films ever made, and rightfully so. Forrest Gump is a heartfelt slice of Americana, an emotional roller coaster that will have you wanting to cry and laugh consistently throughout the entire story. The cultural atmosphere is so entertaining to watch that it almost seems you were there when the hippies stormed the Washington Monument or when Nixon resigned (and maybe you were; if so, comment below!). Although it has probably been said before, one thing is for sure: Forrest Gump will steal your heart and most definitely run with it.  

     Overall Rating: 10/10 

A Bit Of Metal On Your Finger

     Industrial metal, anyway. This is a picture of the little finger puppet I recently made. In some cultures, it is considered good luck to keep a bit of metal in your pocket, but then I realized, "Why can't it be heavy metal?" My particular puppet was made in the likeness of Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails frontman), but these instructions can be applied to any heavy metal rocker.

You will need:

-The ability to hand-sew

-Black fabric

-White fabric

-A small pom-pom or cotton ball

-Black thread

-Extra-fine Sharpie

-Beads, sequins, or other embellishments that give your puppet a distinctive character

1. Measure around your index finger with a scrap of black fabric and mark with pins. Trim as necessary.

2. Sew a straight line down the fabric scrap to create the body. 

3. To make the head, fold the white fabric in half and cut out a small circle. Begin sewing around the outer rim of the circle. When a solid edge has formed, insert the cotton ball and sew it in.

4. Place the head on the top of the body piece and use black thread to sew the head onto the body. Trim excess thread.

5. Take the Sharpie and draw on a face.

6. Attach the hair, depending on who you are doing. I used a bit of black fabric for Trent, but for someone like Robert Plant you may want to use ribbon or string. 

Can You Survive The Apocalypse?

Answer the following questions using "Yes" or "No":

1. Are you physically fit for your age?
2. Do you weigh less than 400 pounds?
3. Has your knowledge for survival derived from a source other than video games?
4. Have you ever developed an emergency plan for your home?
5. Do you have a method of transportation other than your car/public transportation?
6. If you were to lose electricity, would you still be able to heat your house?
7. Have you ever cooked anything over an open fire?
8. Are you okay with eating meat?
9. Can you identify at least 3 items in every room in your house that can be used as emergency weapons?
10. Do you know how to aim, fire, and reload a firearm?
11. Do you own a firearm?
12. Is there a good supply of dry goods and canned foods in your home?
13. Have you exercised in the past 24 hours?
14. Are there at least 3 coats and 3 pairs of gloves in your closet?
15. Are you able to survive without daily medication?
16. Are you completely allergy-free?
17. Are there at least two exits for every room in your house?
18. Do you have a woodburning stove or any type of heat source that does not require electricity?
19. Would you be able to seriously injure a person if the situation demanded it?
20. Do you own a durable pair of boots? (I'm taking about Merrell boots or something similar; those flimsy fashion leather boots at Macy's don't count).
21. Can you get dressed with minimal light?
22. Are you able to survive for more than a few hours without your Smartphone?
23. Do you know what items you would pack in an emergency?
24. Are you able to pack a bag with vital supplies and clothes in under ten minutes?
25. Are there more than five trees in the back of your house?
26. Are there any trees in the back of your house at all (temperate regions only)?
27. Would you be okay with taking a lukewarm shower?
28. Do you have at least 3 places you can go in an emergency other than your house?
29. Can you identify at least 4 backroad routes near your home that you could take if they shut down the major highways?
30. Can you chop and split wood?
31. Is your neighbor's house at least fifty feet from yours?
32. Would you be able to get to a "safe spot" if public transportation was shut down?
33. Are you good friends with someone who is experienced at survival?
34. Do you live somewhere other than a city?
35. Do you own any type of water purifier?
36. Have you packed a small emergency kit?
37. Do you know how to dress a wound?
38. Do you know how to find water?
39. Do you own any survival books?
40. Have you compiled a list of emergency contacts?
41. Do you own a crank radio or crank flashlight?
42. How about anything solar-powered?
43. Is the nearest hospital within twenty minutes of your home?
44. Can you identify at least 10 animals/plants in your area that could be used for food in an emergency?
45. Can you identify at least five poisonous plants?
46. Can you navigate using the North Star or the sun?
47. Can you build a basic shelter with sticks and brush?
48. Have you ever been campingin a tent and not an RV?
49. Do you know how to get out of quicksand? (This one is really out of curiosity.)
50. Do you know how to sew?

(If you answered "No" to ten or more of these, then there is a good chance you won't survive the apocalypse. Start planning!)

Sh*t Hipsters Say, Fashion/Foodie Edition

"Rattled" By Debra Galant: Book Review

     Out of all the (few) books I got around to reading in the past couple of weeks, this one was by far the most enjoyable. Rattled is a humorous look at modern suburbia told through a third-person/omniscient perspective. The main plot revolves around Heather Peters, a white, blonde mid-thirties yuppie woman who is literally the physical embodiment of everything having to do with manicured lawns, manicured fingernails, white-collar jobs and PTA meetings. Heather, her husband and rambunctious son move into the newly-built Galapagos Estates, a suburban nightmare sitting atop what happens to be the natural habitat of an endangered species of rattlesnake. Also living in this area of New Jersey is Agnes, an older Bohemian woman who spends her time advocating for the protection of animals, and Harlan White, an elderly handyman who is annoyed by the presence of the Peters' and by Galapagos Estates entirely. But when Harlan is forced by Heather to kill a rattlesnake on her patio, the resulting investigation morphs into a media circus and turns Heather into a celebrity overnight...and later the subject of severe scrutiny. However, as Galapagos Estates is put under the public eye, not one person---Heather, Harlan, or Agnes---is prepared to go down without a fight. 

     The most admirable facet of this book is how it focuses on the lifestyle of Heather Peters and at the same time pokes fun at her, while explaining the mindset of her opponents, Harlan and Agnes. I enjoyed how the author sympathized with the casual, independent underdogs from a town being overrun by maniacal yuppies who want everything organic, pristine, and clean-cut. (Warwick, I'm looking at you.) You can honestly feel the frustration that Harlan and Agnes express towards their invaders, and may find yourself laughing when Agnes fills in as a babysitter for Connor, Heather's fourth-grader son. All in all, both sides of the issue are exquisitely and equally represented, making for a truly interesting read. 

     Overall rating: 10/10

"Trailer Park Boys" Review

    Considering I don't believe that I have done a review of a TV show (oh wait, Portlandia, duh!), I believe that this would be a good show to start on. Trailer Park Boys is a Canadian TV show that follows the antics of Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles. The three of them live in Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Nova Scotia and regularly cause trouble based on legal scams and general alcohol-induced shenanigans. Working to stop their regular escapades is Jim Lahey, the alcoholic supervisor of the trailer park and former cop, who was actually fired from the police force as a result of Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles' early actions as kids. Joined by his cheeseburger-addicted associate, Randy, Lahey is determined that Ricky and Julian (and to a lesser extent, Bubbles) go back to prison for good.

     Rush was the main reason I found out about this show, because one of the episodes features Alex Lifeson as a guest star (he also made a few cameos in the TPB movies). However, after finding the show on Netflix, I was hooked. The show depends on several aspects for the hilarity, which makes it interesting. Because it is set up to look like a reality show (when in fact everything is fictionalized), it makes everything feel more funnier and less staged. There is plenty to laugh at throughout the series, whether it is Ricky's incorrect but amusingly creative usage of words ("Doesn't take rocket appliances to know that"; "Gorilla see, gorilla do"); Bubbles' obessession over his cats; Julian and Ricky's pot-growing schemes; the boys' ridiculous, constant petty crimes; Jim Lahey's "shitisms"; the constant slapstick; or everybody's general troublesome antics. The show is not over-the-top, which helps convey the realistic atmosphere better than most television shows are able to do nowadays. Entertaining, humorous, and heartfelt, Trailer Park Boys proves that there are still hidden comedy gems lurking in the underground media. Pack up for a good solid weeks, you guys; once you visit Sunnyvale, you won't want to leave.

     Overall rating: 10/10 

The Top 10 Best Music Videos (So Far)

     Thought-provoking, visually dynamic, and often shocking, these ten videos prove that music videos are a true art form. While a few on this list are actually considered short films, they are still music videos nonetheless. Many are controversial, so please view with caution. Enjoy!


10. Marilyn Manson, "The Beautiful People"

9. Nirvana, "Heart-Shaped Box"

8. Sigur Ròs, "Fjögur píanó"

7. Lana Del Ray, "Tropico"

6. Bjork, "All Is Full Of Love"

5. M.I.A, "Born Free"

4. Johnny Cash, "Hurt"

3. Nine Inch Nails, "Closer"

2. 30 Seconds To Mars, "Hurricane"

1. Pearl Jam, "Do The Evolution"