(Just as a disclaimer: as someone who identifies as bisexual, you may discover that this article may lean more towards bisexual-related issues. But even so, I will try to discuss sexuality as a whole, and use my personal preferences when necessary.)
Unless you have been living under a rock, gay marriage was legalized in the U.S. not too long ago. Obviously, this was a huge turning point for the LGBT community. And to be fair, in the last few years, it has achieved some pretty impressive things. With gays, lesbians, and the like becoming more visible, sexuality has diversified and certain orientations have been brought to the public attention. It is no longer an issue of "gay" or "straight", but rather an entire spectrum of sexual orientation.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with this at all. I personally don't care how you dress or who you love, it makes absolutely no difference and will most likely have no impact on my life as a whole. But, there are still some individuals who believe that the more visible the LGBT community has become, the more people are "choosing" to further bypass preconceived notions of sexual orientation and "twisting" it to the point where it becomes overblown, ridiculous, and "fashionable". That apparently it will corrupt the mind of innocents and the entire world will descend into a giant sinful orgy of lust before God comes and tears it apart.
So I want to pose the question: why are fluid/non-heterosexual orientations so taboo?
I don't want to bring this up as a simple question of whether being gay is okay; that has been discussed so many times I've lost count. Instead, I want to talk about the sexual orientations that are beyond gay and straight: bisexual, asexual, pansexual, etc. Now, these terms have only come to light fairly recently, which means that some people have been quick to dismiss them as being "made up" or just "trendy". So before I get into this a little more, here are their formal definitions.
Bisexual: A person who is attracted to both men and women
Asexual: A person who does not feel sexually attracted to anyone (though they may still be romantically attracted to them).
Pansexual: A person who is attracted to another individual regardless of their gender (is not the same as being bisexual because pansexuals tend to be more transgender-inclusive).
There we go. Yes, all of these orientations are real, and they do exist. As I said before, I myself am bisexual; I have had far more crushes on girls than on guys, but I still find myself attracted to guys on occassion. For a good amount of time, I'll admit I did try to convince myself that I was "confused", but then I found out that bisexuality was a normal thing, and it was totally okay. Likewise, all of these other orientations are 150% okay. However, I want to discuss the fact that even the LGBT community has been slow to accept this.
As a bisexual individual, I will say that there are people in the LGBT community who believe that we do not exist. (Yes, this is despite the obvious "B" in the name). I have heard that a big reason why gays and straights do not trust us is because they believe we want attention, but personally, I think they may just get uncomfortable with the fact that we aren't 100% on "their" side. It's also annoying when people assume that we're down for a threesome with two strangers simply because we go both ways. (Please note: "bisexual" does not mean "easy"). It's almost as if, since we have the ability to be attracted to both genders, then that means we'll apparently be more likely to cheat, or something. Or, we're just "confused" and eventually we'll come to identify ourselves as strictly gay or straight.
This is also an issue faced by pansexuals, who, since they can be attracted to a wider range of genders, are sometimes assumed to be outrageously confused and insecure, or they don't see genders to the point where they don't inherently value the people that they date. With asexuals, they are seen as sexually repressed, or they may even be accused as having a sexual disorder. (Personally, I think that since our culture is hyper-sexualized, it's very uncommon for people to think that a person would not experience some form of attraction at any point in their lives). So yes, even in the so-called tolerant LGBT community, there are still cliques. It seems that society is still unable to shake off a bunch of preconceived notions about gender identity and sexual orientation, which, of course, is unfortunate. It really just blows my mind why people believe that anything beyond gay or straight is so "odd". Like, they can't put a solid label on you, so they just disregard you as a person. I am bisexual, but that doesn't make me greedy, and it doesn't mean I'm "confused" or more likely to cheat than anyone else simply because I've had crushes on girls and guys.
The saddest part about this issue is that bi-invisibility (something that can also be applied to pansexuals, asexuals, and so on) is so rampant in the LGBT community and society in general that people are forming perceptions of these more "fluid" individuals without even getting to know them. For example, a youtube video asked lesbians what they thought of bisexuals (Arielle Scarcella's channel, for those of you who are interested). I'll admit, a lot of their answers kind of offended me. They were calling bisexuals "confused", "odd", and "greedy", which automatically distanced themselves from the people they were describing. (By the way, what is "greedy" even supposed to mean? It's not like we want all the hot people for ourselves; attraction is a basis of personal preference anyway). I want to also point out that I was kind of irritated when I heard that the term "gold star lesbian" was a thing: for those who don't know, it generally means that a lesbian has only been with women, and never slept with a man at any point. Like, as if a person's past sexual history is the only way to gauge what they currently define themselves as. Why is it that a person is only really gay or straight if they've known for a long time already? Why is it so bad to switch between orientations if you want? Do gays and straights believe that we'll be "tainting" or misrepresenting the LGBT community if we cannot come up with a 100% clear-cut definition of who we are? Is it that important that we attach such a gigantic label to everything we like? Why must we be so concerned with who we're attracted to, and at what point we're attracted to them?
I get that many gays and straights are sometimes intimidated by "gray-area" orientations like bisexual and pansexual because it's more complicated to define us, especially since some of us tend to lean more in one direction than the other. I understand that many may view us as simply looking for attention because we don't have such a clear-cut answer as to who we may or may not like.
But the bottom line is: who fucking cares?
It shouldn't matter who anyone is attracted to: all that matters is whether or not they treat their partner (or partners) nicely! Like, sure girl, I've been attracted to others in the past, but right now, my main focus is you. As of this moment, I am attracted to and want to be with you. And that is what should matter. Now, obviously, it is a problem if your partner is cheating, but that's NOT a issue regarding sexuality, but morals in general.
My sexual orientation is not the sole determining factor of who I am as a person. I just want to ask the general public and LGBT community in general to stop making assumptions at us and look at us as people, not "greedy" or "confused" fetishists who are looking for attention. I mean, honestly: how would you feel if someone said that about you (since gays have been called such things in the past)?
Let's live and let live. Case closed.
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