5 Things NOT To Say To Someone With Depression

  Depression is a cruel mistress I have often been in unfortunate contact with. It has stayed with me since I was a young kid, and over the years there have been a lot of ups and downs. While most certainly a struggle, depression is still stigmatized in society and sometimes looked at as not being a "real" disease. I am here to change your perceptions about this. Below is a list of things you should avoid saying to someone with depression.

1.  "What's wrong?" You should avoid this inquiry because most of the time, people with depression can't pinpoint what it is exactly that they are depressed over. It doesn't have a real rhyme or reason; it simply is, and we have to deal with it. Plus, if we knew what was bothering us, we could have devised a proper solution to help get rid of it. 
2.  "You'll get over it." Well, okay then, excuse me while I lift this incredibly large boulder off of my chest for the sake of your convenience. We cannot just "get over it", as that would imply that we have a specific reason to be depressed, and that the problem can be easily remedied with a certain solution. Depression is not some sort of infection that you can destroy with a pill; it takes time and effort, but most of the time you just learn to deal with it rather than get rid of it. Doing away with depression entirely is extremely difficult, as it can always bounce back. 
3.  "C'mon, smile!" This was (and still is) the most frequent statement people choose to say to me. As a kid, many saw this as just me having some sort of attitude. "Oh, don't mind her, she's just being a bitch", is basically what they were saying. We do not have an "attitude". We are not depressed because we seek to drain the people around us of any pleasure. 
4.  "I just saw you laugh and smile the other day, so you don't have depression." By this logic, I could say that you are never calm because I once saw you throw a temper tantrum. Depressed people get through some days with ease, and other times it is a huge undertaking to get out of bed in the morning. Plus, you may be one of the few things in life that temporarily relieves them of their depression. Think about that. 
5.  "People your age can't get depression." Since I heard this one a lot as a kid, I eventually stopped using the word "depression" and simply tried to convince myself that what other people said was true: maybe I did have a snotty attitude. But I never fully believed it, because in my gut I knew it was depression, or some form of it. There is no "right" or "wrong" time to get it, and it can affect anyone. Throw away your perceptions and recognize how prevalent it is.