A Word About Female Labels

       ...But seriously. 

     I have been noticing this trend for a while, so here's a list to drive the point home: 

If a guy is a CEO, he's the boss.

If a woman is a CEO, she's bossy. 

If a guy puts on nice clothes and cleans himself up, he's neat.

If a woman keeps herself clean, she's vain.

As proven above, a man must only wear a shirt to be considered a nerd.

For a girl to be considered a nerd, she must have a collection of over 100 related comic books, DVD's, and t-shirts. She must also read 10 blogs a day, develop at least 50 different fanfictions and be able to name all of the Star Wars characters in order of appearance. 

   It is very hard for me to even say that I'm a "nerd" because it's become a vague term by this point. Now, I get that there are a lot of girls out there who are genuine nerds but are constantly seen as fake, while at the same time there are also some very fake nerds. I guess that just because I am woman I have to constantly push myself to obsess over something to the point of living and breathing it. And it doesn't help that guys are telling us, "Well, what do you know? You're a girl." 

     I know, I know, "get back in the kitchen", right? 

    What's worse is that the feminists are screaming for us to push ourselves to be superior to the boys. But why? If nothing we do is ever up to their standards of nerdiness, then why even make it a contest? Why can't we just try to ignore those guys or tell them to go fuck themselves? Better yet, do what the girl did above and throw their words of pretentious pride back at them.

    I will not get back in the kitchen just because I don't meet your standards of nerd. You can make your own damn sandwich. 

   Meanwhile, I'll be watching Star Wars. 

"Blackfish" Movie Review

    Alright, time for a controversial film! 

    Blackfish is a documentary that details the story of Tilikum, a captive orca at SeaWorld who has been responsible for the deaths of 3 people, most notably Dawn Brancheau. The film follows this majestic beast from his capture as a baby to his growing aggression that has led to publicized incidents, most debatably caused by being kept in a 20-foot tank most of the time and ripped from his family at such a young age. While focusing on Tilikum, the movie also discusses some of the other orca whales at SeaWorld that have caused similar incidents, such as Haidi II and Nootka V, and addresses the question of how orcas should not be kept in captivity. 

     This documentary gets its point across really well. Instead of demonizing killer whales, the film explores the causation behind their aggression and details why such incidents have occurred. The real enemy here is not Tilikum, but SeaWorld, for neglecting the psychological safety of whales in favor of money. SeaWorld knows this, which is why they neglected to be interviewed for this film and then responded by saying the film was inaccurate. Yeah, right! 

     Save the whales, you guys! 

     (P.S. If you want to know about the foundation that has been erected in Dawn's honor, please click       

       here.) 

Overall rating: 9/10

I'm A White, Secular American And Your Culture Looks Delicious

   Many of you probably saw this title and went "What?" 

   So let me explain:

   It's happening a lot more these days. As the number of nonreligious white Americans begins to increase, so does the interest in other "alternative" cultures. Kids who grow up without a strong cultural identity (which can include religion) end up going through that identity crisis all of us experience at around the time of adolescence. Only, imagine that crisis magnified a few hundred times. 

  I saw it firsthand in high school. Though there are a lot of people at my church, there was also a hefty number of non-religious kids at my school. These were the self-proclaimed atheists who deemed religion to be manipulative and (in their words) "ultimately fucked up". Understandable, I suppose, because it most likely stemmed from the main teenage mantra that emerged in the 60's and has since become the battle-cry of modern adolescence: "Everything my parents and elders teach me must be wrong, so I will push myself as far away as I can." This has led to my generation actively seeking out alternative, "cool" beliefs and cultural practices all for the sake of claiming individuality. 

   And thus we have the problem of culture expolitation. 

   I did not realize how prevalent this was until last October, when my sister and I went into a pagan shop in Sugarloaf to get incense. As we were paying, we spoke with another woman who revealed herself to be a practicing witch, and the three of us watched as a group of college Hipster kids walked by with a stack of Tarot cards, shuffling them like Pokemon cards and giggling over how "cool" they were. I saw the woman next to me roll her eyes, but in a way that suggested that this wasn't the first time she's seen such a thing. For some reason I was irritated by the whole situation. Did these people ever stop to consider how wearing a pentagram or buying Tarot cards when you aren't a Wiccan is something that real Wiccans might take offense to? Did it cross their mind that certain people might not enjoy the fact that white secular Americans believe their culture to be a "fad" or a silly game instead of something to actually be taken seriously and respected? This drove me to the point of buying the last micro-book of spells at a local supermarket because I was terrified of it ending up in the hands of a yuppie kid. 

   It got me to thinking, and I realized that kids my age were trying to find a group to latch onto in order to feel accepted. And because the whole "I'm-a-special-and-unique-snowflake" message is infiltrating the mainstream, there are a lot of people experiencing cultural exploitation, namely the pagans, Indians, Asians, and Native Americans. Those who claim to be a part of these groups when they aren't are only insulting these people and treating their culture as something that is temporarily cool, and is a trend that won't last forever. 

  I personally don't give a flying fuck that Christianity and Conservativism isn't considered to be "cool". I know I am not a completely unique and special snowflake, and I hate it when people believe themselves to be one because in reality, we are all pretty normal (GASP). 

   Let me put it to you this way: cultures are not "fads". They are not some type of club you can join for a certain period of time until you get bored. You want a cultural identity? Look to your parents, your grandparents, and extended family. Remember who you really are and where you came from, because it is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing "boring" or redundant about a culture, no matter how many people belong to it. In fact, the most obvious way to be average is to act as if you don't need to belong to anything. Because guess what? There are hundreds of people who are trying to isolate themselves with the same thinking. 

An Amazing Look Inside The Womb

http://www.buzzfeed.com/personhoodusa/top-10-mind-blowing-images-of-human-life-in-the-wo-drqv

Mindblowing pictures are in the link above!

Overpriced "Boho" Is Running Rampant!

     Now, I hate the word "Boho" to begin with. It sounds way too much like "bimbo" and implies a message that real Bohemians are not trying to send. Using "Boho" to describe a fashion is just another cutesy girl, teeny-bobber device magazines use to sell their crap. But the problem is that even though there are decent Bohemian styles out there right now, the hyprorisy lies in their pricing. 

     If you go on Free People, you will probably see some pretty cool threads. Innovative? Yes. Beautiful? Absolutely. Affordable? Not in a millenium. 

     For instance, earlier today I was looking at dresses on that site, and one that displayed a simple South American design and labeled as an "Inca" dress was priced at $390. (Yes, you read that correctly). Even thr richest Bohemians would not pay $400 for a freaking polyester dress made in LA (and probably put together in a factory), unless it was designed by a close friend or done exclusively for them. True Bohemians do not need clothes to sell the idea of who they are. To them, clothes are a side effect of their lifestyle. I am tired of girls going around thinking, "People will totally think I'm innovative and mysterious and interesting when I wear this overpriced but totally fashionable ugly, printed, $500 denim dress." If you physically have to work hard to put together a creative outfit, you are not a Bohemian. You are a Hipster. 

     Another example of this exploitation is the new jewelry line by Kim and Zozi, who have designed their self-proclaimed "hippie bling" to sell at Nordstroms. Because of course the original hippies from the 60's would absolutely drop $165 for a "hand-beaded" bangle bracelet that was probably made in a sweatshop somewhere in Polynesia. I could make that bracelet myself; or at least by it from someone else who has a little jewelry stand at an arts festival.

     If you've been reading this blog, you probably have some sort of an idea of the behaviors of the historical and authentic Bohemians. They do not make spectacles of themselves, nor do they put up a front. 

    Want some real Bohemian threads? Don't go anywhere near the designer labels. Their designs are manufactured and only seek to exploit creativity for profit. Also, make sure you know exactly where the clothes you have came from. 

What Current Websites Would Be Like If They Were People

Pinterest: As a typical white suburban mom, Pinterest lives in a neighborhood surrounded by other white suburban moms that fix gourmet meals each day, from recipes that have at least 3 adjectives in their name. Her perfect house has an indoor water slide, a redone barn, a perfect shabby-chic kitchen, and a closet filled with vintage clothes. She has no job of her own other than crafting homemade pastel things all day long for her children and planning her 3rd wedding. 

Etsy: A Hipster kid who has nothing better to do than make something she believes is unique and cute while pricing it outrageously high in an attempt to pay off her student loans. She knows you need to put an owl on everything in your house and she is willing to do it while in an upcycled dress made of old shirts. 

Offbeat Bride: While many see her as nice and pretty, she does not seem to know what wedding trends are nerdy-but-cool, nerdy-but-tacky, and the ones that are labeled as "quirky" so that they are of course done to death over and over again. She is always dressed in a white dress with rainbow lacing and red converse sneakers, and serves her cocktails in little Mason jars with people's names on them. Just don't ever mention to her that her theme has most likely been done before. 

Facebook: Usually alternates between an annoying teenager and TMI suburban mom. They both find it necessary to tell everyone what they are doing, comment on everyone else's business, and "like" everything just to get on people's good sides. Problem is, this person can be a little too invasive sometimes, and incredibly annoying. 

Twitter: Even more annoying than Facebook but about ten times more stupid. Twitter cannot even speak in full sentences and is always making grammatical errors. Plus, he finds the hashtag symbol to be badass but we all know he's just a wannabe. 

Youtube: It is hard to say what mood he will be in on a given day. He has seen everything about everyone and has tons of life lessons up his sleeves, but occasionally he can turn into a lazy and vulgar person, sitting on the couch in his sweatshirt and making social commentary every so often. Be sure to only catch him on his good days. 

Wikipedia: Sure, he's literary, but we also happen to question his resources when he spouts out things that don't make sense. By this point we see him as less of a notable source for facts and more of someone who would help write an essay on conspiracy theories. 

Google: He's so big, so amazing, and so full of information that people are intimidated by him. He is innovative and flexible and will help you in any way he can. 

10 Aspects of Current Popular Culture That Need To Die

 

1. Zombies, zombies, and more zombies. C'mon already! The Walking Dead, Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, zombie survival kits, zombie jokes, zombie shirts, zombie printed stuff...Let's be honest here, people, the only reason we try to love zombies is that we are trying to distance ourselves from the vampire/werewolf phenomenon that was born out of Twilight. But the truth is, zombies are gross. Really gross. And I can hardly wait to see what ridiculous obsession people will come up with once zombies fade away. 

2. Exploiting rednecks and southerners. I understand that there is a show for everything now. But considering that being a suburban liberal is mainstream now, it's no surprise that many shows like Duck Dynasty and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo are aired to make those suburbanites go, "Aha! Look at the stupid Walmart people! We're so much better than they are!" And maybe you are better than they are...in a much shallower kind of way. 

3. Trying to be a "cool nerd". Also known as a Hipster. I'm sure I am not the only one who is getting tired of seeing steampunk, My Little Pony, and scads of other "hip" nerdy stuff. Let me put it to you this way: If you are trying to be hip, then you aren't really a nerd. You're just as mainstream as everyone else.

4. Trying to be a cool parent. This is perhaps the most annoying thing on the list. I cringe when I see parents using the words "totes", "adorbs", and "totally". (Not that anyone really says "totally" anymore). Parents are never really going to be cool, because if they are, then their children are born cool and cannot experience the true teenage rebellion that would have made them cool. They are essentially doomed to exist inside of a paradox. This issue was addressed on a recent episode of The Simpsons if you want to look it up. 

5. Dubstep. It makes no sense, and it can hardly be called music when it has the sound of a computer having a seizure. I don't care who calls it "art"; essentially, it's dumb. 

6. Obsessing over Nutella, waffles, bacon, muffins, and cupcakes. I thought we were supposed to be advocating for crazy-healthy bland food? Maybe people just love to fantasize about what they could eat if they wanted to....just eat it, for the love of criminy! I'll admit that Nutella is good. But for crying out loud, people, give it a rest already with the Nutella recipes. (I'm looking at you, Pinterest).

7. Anime. The problem with anime is that it pretty much looks the same no matter who draws it. So really, how could one be able to tell them all apart? Newsflash: you can't! What is the entire fascination with Japanese culture anyway? If you want to know the truth, read this article: 5 Things Nobody Tells You About Living In Japan

8. Chuck Norris jokes. How does Chuck Norris feel about all this? We know that he isn't really a superhuman, though he is a badass, so the jokes should stop. They're getting old. 

9. Merging fandoms together. Horrifying as it is, there are too many people making cartoons that merge Harry Potter with Mean Girls, The Avengers with Twilight, Harry Potter with Twilight....STOP! They should all stay in their respective universes. Merging them together just discredits them and it makes no sense. 

10. Supporting everything! How many people have you met that proudly wear a ribbon of every single color in existence? One for breast cancer awareness, one for gay rights, one for domestic violence, one for autism, one for pancreatic cancer, one for cyberbullying.....MAKE IT STOP! Become a doctor or a medical engineer if you want to fight cancer that badly. Money isn't enough; we need manpower. 

Pinterest Crafting

   Okay, so most of you know by now that I'm a bit of a Pinterest addict. But most of the projects I pin I don't actually end up doing, and I'm sure this is true for a lot of other people. Maybe it's because we feel that our version of the project will never come out as good as the original (see the website Pintrosity). However, you can successfully complete a craft even with a few minor alterations. If it is completely the same as the original, then it isn't really that creative anyway.

For instance, here is the original pinned craft for a beaded pendant:

And here is my version: 

The perfectionist crafter is a gene instilled in most of the Pinterest users, which is why many of our boards are filled with complicated projects we pretend we will eventually do, but in reality we forget all about it. Here are some tips for getting yourself motivated to start crafting again: 

   1. Pick a craft, any craft. You have to start somewhere, and one completed project usually leads to another.

   2. Assess the skills and materials needed. I can understand if you don't want to make an ottoman out of an old tire or hand-paint an entire cabinet right away. But many crafts range from all types of difficulty levels, so you should be able to find one that is easy for you. 

   3. Don't worry about perfection. Realize that many of these projects are formulated by skilled experts. So what if your candy corn cupcakes are a little lopsided or the buttons you made into a necklace aren't all the exact shade of blue? Imperfection is beauty in its own right. 

"The Purge" Movie Review

  Only because this movie is actually the reason I started a blog in the first place.

  

From my Facebook page:
  Okay, after seeing The Purge I didn't know whether or not to just rant about it, but once I thought about it I decided I should at least put my two cents in.
The Purge takes place in 2022, when the economy is flourishing and unemployment is at an all-time low because of this twelve hour period one night a year known as "The Purge", when most crime, including murder, is legal, and the only rules are that some weapons may not be used and politicians cannot be touched.
There are a few problems I have with this movie:
1. The premise itself was very interesting and original. They could have really expanded upon the story instead of focusing on one family and making it....a typical home invasion movie. We've seen that in movies before, it's disappointing that they choose to do the most cliched, overdone plot instead of actually making the "murder is legal" premise a big part of the story. But really,it just becomes a minor convenience, which is annoying.
2. That being said with the cliched plot, there's also the issue of a few plot holes. This movie takes place in the future, and they give you a brief little couple of quotes about the Purge, but they never explain it. They talk about the "New Founding Fathers" repeatedly, but who the heck are they? What do they bring to the story? Give us something, at least. And there's also a lack of background for most of the people in this movie, and makes it hard to see their motivations. Which brings us to:
3. Characters. They really just come out of nowhere and expect us to sympathize with them. And most of their actions makes you go, "What the....?" Like, for example, the boyfriend of the oldest girl wants to go talk to her dad so they can continue to see each other, but then he just pulls a gun out of nowhere and starts shooting at him! No real rhyme or reason to it, guess it was for the plot device. And so many of these characters go through personality changes to quickly to be real. Like, the neighbors suddenly go from being mildly irritated to downright evil at the flip of a switch. What, crime is legal for 12 hours and suddenly EVERYONE wants to be a murderer??? How realistic is that? Which is why it's also hard to take the evil characters seriously, because they look like they are enjoying themselves way too much. Are they honestly thinking, "I just love being so evil; ha ha ha!" And when the evil leader couldn't stop laughing while he was stating how he was going to kill the family, I lost it.
4. Dialogue. Really just the same four lines being repeated over and over in a somewhat different context. The script also sounds very hurried, which is weird because the movie wasn't even and hour and a half long. It's okay to slow down and add some detail; the movie won't eat you.
5. Political Messages. This is by far the biggest one. They are so blatantly obvious that you feel like you're being beaten over the head with a bat. I fully understand what they were trying to say, though others may interpret it differently, so YES, HOLLYWOOD, WE GET IT! Also, I felt that the movie was a little anti-feminine. I mean, the female characters are weak and dress ONLY in skirts, dresses, or tight-fitted pants. And when they are interacting with the men, they alternate between making out with them, playing around with them, or being comforted by them because they are SOOOO SCARED!!! And another overbearing message was the severe sense of being Anti-American. The characters state repeatedly that they must kill because of their "duty as Americans." Wow, you really think we're that stupid that we won't get what you're trying to say there? Go make another bad sequel, Hollywood.
Long story short, this movie was not scary at all and actually very funny. Was it even supposed to be funny? But overall, a lot more could have been done, and it's virtually nothing we haven't seen before. This movie is ridiculously hilarious. Somewhat well-acted, but otherwise just something you aren't going to remember after two days.

A Note To All My Readers

  Okay.
  I'm going to be in college starting tomorrow...
  (AAAAAHHH!!!)
  So I'm probably not going to be posting every day like I have all summer. I'll still post, but probably only once a week or so. Stay tuned, I promise I will keep this up!

Things I Did This Summer

Just because....I do this every year.

1. The Purge
2. Started a blog
3. Saw Mama, Man of Steel, Dirty Girl, and countless other movies.
4. New computer!
5. Discovered a new mixture of tea
6. Saw Rush in Saratoga Springs
7. Saratoga Springs is awesome!
8. Drove through a torrential downpour in the Saratoga battlefields. 
9. Started an Ebay store
10. Sold things and made some money
11. Went to the Country Pickins Auction numerous times
12. Looked for jobs and somewhat failed
13. Went to a few parties
14. Went to Florida
15. Wizarding World of Harry Potter <3
16. Universal Studios (the downpour, the gift shops, the overall experience)
17. Sanibel Island 
18. Winning Trivial Pursuit twice in a row
19. The painful, delayed flight back home
20. Shrink plastic jewelry!
21. Started writing a brand-new book
22. Read several other books, including Candide and A Tree Grows In Brooklyn 
23. Purged my room of my childhood
24. Bought textbooks with my own money
25. Discovered a new face of Rush, along with Nirvana and Death Cab For Cutie
26. Obtained a whole new college wardrobe
27. Monitored the slow decline of America 
28. Suffered a Pinterest addiction
29. Worked on Dream House blueprints 
30. Delved deeper into my sense of Bohemianism 

Current August Playlist

1. "Home Is A Fire" by Death Cab For Cutie
2. "Resist" by Rush
3. "Something In The Way" by Nirvana
4. "Alive" by Pearl Jam
5. "Unobstructed Views" by Death Cab For Cutie
6. "I Will Possess Your Heart" by Death Cab For Cutie
7. "New World Round" by Marco Beltrami
8. "Stay Away" by Nirvana
9. "2112" by Rush
10. "Stay Young, Go Dancing" by Death Cab For Cutie

Anticipation For Autumn

  How to tell when autumn is coming....

1. People are coming back from their vacations.
2. The back-to-school sales are making an appearance.
3. Halloween costumes are being advertised.
4. You need a sweatshirt on most nights.
5. There don't seem to be enough hours in the day.
6. Mothers are merrily skipping around the neighborhood and reminding themselves that September is around the corner.
7. People are posting their "Best Movies of the Summer" lists.
8. You are actually growing bored of sitting around all the time.
9. You feel that your summer has been going on forever.
10. You classmates just went back upstate to get situated with their dorms.

Thrifting: Therapy For The Weird and Wonderful

  Thrifting only started becoming an item fairly recently, but any true Bohemian will tell you that they've been doing it for years. I'll be honest, I only shopped in my first thrift store less than two years ago, and already it's become my favorite way to shop. How else would I have been able to swipe these practically brand-new shoes for only five bucks? 

  Today I hit the Salvation Army, which has basically become my favorite store, and I am not shamed to admit that. It's literally almost like a warehouse of clothes, from shirts to evening wear to coats and even wedding dresses and housewares. And the best part? Nothing is the same. Unlike regular stores, which have racks and racks of similar clothing. 

  For those of you who are considering thrifting, or want to have a reason to go, I am here to present you with not one reason, but six: 

1.   It's the ultimate in being an eco-friendly shopper in that it allows you to reuse clothing and therefore promotes recycling. Plus, ordinary stores dip clothes in formaldehyde to keep them fresh, while thrift stores do not. 
2.   You can't beat the prices. We are talking $4-or-less shirts. Even genuine leather jackets show up from time to time at less than $20. 
3.   Individuality is a big factor here. Why would you want to wear the same solid-color cardigans and UGG boots that all the other girls are wearing when you can make an appearance in an outfit you can't buy anywhere else? 
4.   Nobody has to know. If you held up two similar dresses (one from a thrift store and one from a designer label) and tried to have someone choose the more expensive one, would he be able to? Probably not, and nobody else, either. 
5.   You can find designers if you know where to look. These pieces usually hide themselves pretty good, but I have found Ralph Lauren, Chico's, American Eagle, and even Vera Wang hanging on the racks.
6.   It helps the community, as most money from thrift stores ends up going to charities. Besides, most clothes today are made in third-world sweatshops, and who wants to support those heinous practices by purchasing mainstream clothes? 

10 Reasons Why I Hate Pinterest

Let me get this off my chest: I love Pinterest. I am a total Pinterest addict. I have at least 100 or more pins on every one of my boards (my "Bohemian World" board just reached 600 pins).
So why am I writing this type of post?
Because, despite its charms, Pinterest also contains or promotes a few ideas and concepts that get annoying after a while...

1. 1.    Everything has to be cute. Aww, look at the puppy! Aww, look at the cute little comforter that is in such a lovely shade of pastel! It’s all just so happy and fun and sparkly and wonderful, tee hee!
2. 2.    The women are all yuppies, basically. They love coffee, they take care of the kids 24/7, they gossip about reality TV, they love makeup, and they can’t tell you just how many times they posted about that (terribly boring) outfit on Polyvore because it was just so amazing!!!
3. 3.    There are virtually no men. I am so thankful that there are a few men brave enough to post pictures of Rush. But seriously, maybe this absence of males is actually somewhat of a good thing; if boyfriends saw their girlfriend’s wedding board they would freak out.
4. 4.    The expectation for modern mothers is scary. Sure, I have time to meticulously turn your school lunch into an artsy masterpiece; right after I’m done sewing you those twelve new dresses and cooking those wonderfully elaborate chocolate marshmallow cupcakes. What?
5. 5.    The jokes are repetitive. Aw, look at me, I’m so funny! Who cares that a hundred other people have reposted the same exact joke twelve times? It’s still funny!
6. 6.    Some of the crafts are too complex for the average crafter. Who has time to cover an entire floor in pennies or refurbish an old tire with braided twine and ribbon? Seriously.
7. 7.    Women post exercise routines but also post recipes for chocolate-marshmallow-butterscotch-ice cream. Hypocrisy much? Or too much of living in a fantasy? 
8. 8.    The women believe that they will be in control over absolutely everything about a wedding, including the proposal. Weddings are some of the most annoying things on the face of the Earth, mainly because they are only completed between two families. They are never planned and organized by just one person. Besides, even if they were, what would be the point?
9. 9.    There’s too much, “One day, I will do this” and not enough “I actually did this!”  The heartbreaking facet of Pinterest is that we spend too much time on the website itself instead of actually doing the things we see.
10. 10.  All of the nerd stuff is centered around either a) The Avengers, b) Sherlock, c) Harry Potter, or d) Doctor Who. There are other fandoms out there, and the ones that are given the most attention usually end up being the most annoying. 

Tidbits

  Snoopy couldn't have said it better. Writing, though rewarding, is difficult, even when you have a clear idea of what you are doing. I find the biggest problem to be "substance estimation", a phrase I use to describe when your idea of how long the writing piece will be is off by a lot. You could start a short story and end up with a huge novel (my first piece of work, Shadow's Dolls, turned out like this), or what you expect to be a large chunk of pages can actually be the size of a part-time handbook (my current novel). 

  So here is the solution I came up with: "Tidbits".

  "Tidbits" are random little points, scenes, lines of dialogue, or other things that you just happen to write or think up one day. They may fit in perfectly with a plotline you are already mapping out or have no relevance to your current story at all. But let me tell you, they can be a lifesaver if you have writer's block. Tidbits are great for bridging gaps in stories or building up to major plot points. They can also serve as an inspiration to other subplots if you are stuck or feel the story has no meat on it.  

  To find tidbits, dig through your old scrapped works and try to find ancient ideas that might be relevant to your current work. You may need to considerably clean up and modernize the piece, but try to make it fit. 

  One word about writing with tidbits: they are the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. Relying on them to carry the basic story alone will not work. But if used correctly, they can enhance your writing and your wording considerably.

10 ways to increase your productivity

1. Get off the couch.
2. Get off the bed.
3. Take a walk.
4. Exercise for a bit.
5. Organize your room; include making your bed.
6. Turn off your devices (counterpoint: unless you absolutely need them to work).
7. Turn off the Internet (see counterpoint above).
8. Turn off the TV (counterpoint not needed).
9. Yell at yourself in the mirror.
10. Hire someone to slap you each time you get distracted.


Confession: the reason this post is so short is because I have put my writing off until the last minute since I have been filling my days with Pinterest, napping, and eating (grrrr).

But hey, Bohemians rarely have regular jobs anyway. So while the list above is important, you should also understand that inspiration can't be forced. Perhaps the list will even help you to be inspired.

What's your "dream" fund?

We all have that place we want to go. (For me, it's Saratoga, only because I fell in love with it this past July.)

Or maybe it's something we want to do, like go to an expensive restaurant and buy the best bottle of wine available. Endless possibilities, sure....but what I want to know is, have you started your "dream fund"?

It's a very simple thing to start. For one, think of something you always wanted to do but need money for. Then, find a jar, and label it in accordance with your ambition. Add loose change several times until jar is full, and then go to your nearest Coinstar and redeem the coins for cash.

Now, depending on the expense, you may have to refill the jar several times over. But the thing to keep in mind is that all of that change adds up, even if it doesn't seem like much. And don't tell yourself that your dream fund will never amount to anything.

It has been said, "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough."

How to annoy people at the airport

1.  Go to the luggage claims and grab bags that aren't yours.
2.  Go onto the moving sidewalk-thing and fall down dramatically.
3.  Put signs on every bathroom door that say "Broken". 
4.  Take up entire elevators by lying down with your arms and legs spread apart. 
5.  Put up a sign that says "Days Without An Accident: 0"
6.  Steal a luggage cart and ride it up and down the terminals. 
7.  Ride around the baggage claim.
8.  Read all of the magazines in the stores but buy nothing. 
9.  Cover yourself with water and run out of the bathroom screaming.
10.  Make a large line of ketchup leading out of the women's restroom. 
11.  Put your hand through the carry-on metal detector and demand that you receive the free x-ray that you requested online. 
12. Stare at a wall without blinking. 
13. Don't wear deodorant when you go through security, as it will require you to lift your arms.
14. Hide in the largest bag you can find. 
15. Do a somersault through the metal detector. 
16. Stare out the window and say, "Hey, what's that smoke?"
17. Go to the nearest restaurant and demand your complimentary meal. 
18. Go to Burger King (or any of the fast food chains) and ask where the drive-thru is. 
19. Randomly say: "Did you hear that siren?" 
20. Ride your luggage.  
21. Attempt to ride the luggage of other people. 
22. Look at mirror reflection and scream. 
23. Jam the moving doors with various items.
24. Go into the parking garage and reroute the streets using traffic cones.
25. Announce that various flights are canceled, delayed, moved to another terminal, etc.
26. Grab a few snacks and read every ingredient out loud. 
27. Keep pressing the "Door Open" button on the elevator when people are trying to go up.
28. Act out a scene from Hamlet.  
29. Plug a charger into every possible outlet. 
30. Open bags discreetly but keep the top down to appear as if the bag is still zippered shut. When the person pulls it upward, everything will fall out.  
31. Take out everything in your bag and repack it. Then take it all out an repeat, several times over. 
32. Play a small instrument in the terminal and keep your hat on the ground. If people toss in money, throw it back at them.
33. Try to get on a plane without a ticket. When you are refused entry, shout, "This is because I'm {fill in ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation}, isn't it?" 
34. When people tell you to have a nice flight, scream, "Don't tell me what to do!" 
35. Glue coins to the floor.
36. Run around singing the 99 Bottles Of Beer Song at full volume. 
37. When a plane is delayed, toss the nearest object as far as you can and scream, "ANARCHY!"
38. Find a bag of gummy bears and put them in odd places. 
39. Ride a toy horse through the terminal while yelling, "The British are coming, the British are coming!" 
40. Put on a wig and wander into the bathroom of the opposite sex. When you're in the stall, take off the wig and calmly walk out.
41. Put on a security uniform and randomly frisk attractive people. 
42. Open people's suitcases and rummage through their things. 
43. Go up to the nearest attendant and inquire what brand of condoms will be available during the flight. 
44. Ask about the nearest flight to places such as the Galapagos, North Korea, Jan Mayen, etc.  
45. Peek inside your bag and say, "Got enough oxygen in there?" 
46. Walk into glass panels several times.  
47. Touch every souvenir but do not buy anything. 
48. Ask if you can open a window on the plane to let in fresh air. 
49. Tell inappropriate jokes over the intercom. 
50. Write out misleading signs in different languages and post them everywhere.

"A Town Called Panic" Film Review

As I have (probably) mentioned in an earlier post, the concept of foreign films either excites people or scares them away. And yes, many foreign films are a bit odd, but we have to also take into consideration that American films have the tendency to be repetitive and bland. It's nice to see a film once in a while that is charming, clever, and throughly enjoyable. A Town Called Panic embodies all three of these characteristics. 

The story centers on the main character known as "Horse", simply because he is a brown horse who talks and can do a lot of other human things, such as drive a weird little car with tiny wheels. He lives in a tall house with two other guys named Cowboy and Indian, who are best friends that mean well but are consistently getting into trouble. Horse eventually meets Ms. Longray, a female horse who runs the local music school and wants Horse to take piano lessons. He sees this as an opportunity to impress her, but when Cowboy and Indian try to make Horse a barbecue for his birthday, they accidentally order 50 million bricks instead of 50, and this sets off a chain of events that cause Cowboy, Indian, and Horse to embark on an epic journey to put things back in order among the rural hills of their town. 

The entire film is stop-motion, which makes it extra cool, because it hints at how the creators of the film truly spent a lot of time on bringing the story to life. Nothing in the story makes a whole lot of sense when you consider it in terms of logic, but that's what makes it interesting, accompanied with the fact that this helps the film to not take itself too seriously. How can you be serious with a bunch of anthropomorphic plastic figurines running around speaking French?

The movie comes off as fresh and exciting, and is thoroughly entertaining. The story is simple enough for children to enjoy, but the handmade feel to this movie will surely impress audiences everywhere. 

Overall Rating: 8/10

"Uninhibited": An Ode to the Bohemian

A poem by me, Elizabeth Mehling

Uninhibited.

I am the one on the edges of society.

I hide in the shadows

I stalk the followers

Not planning to attack...

But I watch.

I am the one who stands in the rain

Who draws symbols on my fingers

In pen

Or with charcoal.

I am the one who drives with abandon

I have no schedule

Even though I may get there

I can wait.

I am the one who keeps the brain going

I speak poetically

Erratically, and sensually

I make you climax

With simple words.

I am the one who starts a conversation

About the creation of the universe

About Dali and Kerouac

And how cats often make

The best muse. 

I am the one who is aware of my presence

I move with grace

Or I tear consciousness to bits

With such force that some wonder

If I’m mad.

I am the one who is mad.

I am the one who observes.

I am the one who dances

And dances

And dances

Maverick, I christen thee. 

The androids are coming....

And I'm not talking about phones.

"Treasure Planet" Film Review

Treasure Planet seems to be one of those Disney movies that everyone forgets about, and then when it comes up later they realize, "Wait...Disney made that?" And rightfully so. This film is one of the weirdest things to ever come out of Disney. Back then, in 2002, steampunk was really just starting out, and people thought it was quite odd. You wouldn't know that now, considering that steampunk is currently one of the most popular subcultures. But for some reason, Disney knew early on that it was going to be big, so they probably thought, "Hey, let's do Treasure Island in that type of weird steampunk theme; we'll start a trend." And maybe they did, or....did they?

Disney has built up a reputation of clever and endearing children's movies, which usually feature talking animals and goofy characters. So science-fiction stuff just isn't their strongpoint. I understand that they really made an effort in terms of special effects and production design, and that works well. But the weakest component to the story is basically the characters. In previous Disney movies, stories that require humans to interact with anthropomorphic creatures almost always works; perhaps this is due to how the characters are goofy and not taken too seriously. In this movie, however, the seriousness just makes everything come off as awkward. It's weird to see the characters interact with each other in a dignified manner despite being two different species. 

"But wait, doesn't that mean that this is a world in which species interacting with each other positively is a metaphorical representation against real-life racism and isolationism?" 

Yeah, I suppose, but such a concept has been done before. At least in similar movies where different species interact with each other, there's enough humor to poke fun at the situation in which you feel like the movie is saying, "Ha, get it? It's funny because animals aren't supposed to talk!" But when the movie fails to do such a thing, and promotes the idea so seriously that it feels like such interactions are supposed to be completely normal, then it just feels weird. 

This movie is pretty dry. You would expect more humor from Disney at this point in their career, but that rarely happens when they do an "experimental" film such as this one. I guess that they may have also been trying to attract teenagers to come see their movies. However, being a teenager who is obsessed with Disney only recently became an item. Treasure Planet missed that boat, and lost its chance to become a memorable Disney film through a concept that was just too ambitious at the time. 

Overall rating: 5/10