Worst Movies Of All Time, #20-11

20. Zookeeper

  From the trailers, this seemed like an interesting enough premise. It was going to feature a talented comedic cast, and though the story was familiar, we hoped that they would put a good spin on the whole premise. Well, truth be told, this movie was straight up pointless, and insanely stupid. Many people would use this film and Mall Cop as examples of Kevin James' sinking career, but at least Mall Cop was entertaining because the characters were likeable. The characters in this film are irritating and one-dimensional as hell. Also, the sudden shift in James' character is too implausible to be at all realistic, making you feel like the movie just doesn't care. And it doesn't. In short, I want two hours of my life back for having sat through this worthless pile of elephant dung. 

19. Planet 51

  I was kind of surprised when I heard this wasn't actually an American film, but then I realized that it wasn't as if other global animation studios were incapable of producing shitty kids movies as well. Even if Pixar or Dreamworks was producing crap around the time this film came out, Planet 51 would still fail to entertain. The jokes are cheesy, the humor tries way too hard, and the overall animation style is kind of ugly. I get that this is a kids movie and that you shouldn't criticize kids movies too hard, but come on, look at the Pixar films. The difference, however, is that Pixar has created memorable cinematic masterpieces, and this movie is neither memorable nor a masterpiece in any shape or form. 

18. Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

  If you were a kid in the early 2000's like I was, you probably loved the book Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. So I was excited to see how it would translate into a movie. And upon seeing the trailer, I immediately became upset, and this was only compounded by actually viewing the film. The biggest problem in this film is that the magic from the book is gone. In the book, the raining food was a normal part of the town, which made it whimsical. Here, it is just the result of an invention gone somewhat-wrong. Really, the story is not intriguing or interesting at all, and it has been done to death. This setup is the overused "kid-misfit-does-something-right-and-shoves-it-in-everyone's-face-but-stuff-goes-wrong-and-he-becomes-the-hero" story formula. It is a complete and utter insult to the source material, and is loaded with stupid moments, one-dimensional characters, and some downright annoying animation. Please avoid this one unless you want to be left with a bad taste in your mouth. 

17. Piranha 3-D 

  Yes, I get that this is a cheap horror movie. Yes, I get that this was probably done for comedic purposes. Yes, I get that everyone knows that it's stupid, and they try to enjoy it anyway. But despite all of these things, I still hated this movie. It was just all-around dumb. The story was dull, the characters were too annoying to be likeable, and the entire movie was just a mistake. You may think I am judging it too harshly, and that I should sit back and enjoy it for the fact that it doesn't take itself seriously, but it is impossible for me to do so. These types of horror-comedies only appeal to a specific demographic, and it is one that I am not a part of. Senseless and ludicrous, this film should be skipped. 

16. Sharknado 2: The Second One

  This film is like if Pirahna 3-D had a much lower budget, and replaced their screewriters with five-year-old boys writing short stories about monsters and robots. To be fair, it is a slight improvement over the first film (much like the second Purge movie), which is why it is a little higher up on the list. This film still has all of the elements that made Sharknado suprisingly entertaining (in a ridiculous way), from the corny acting to the overdone clichès and horrendous editing. However, it is a slight improvement only through the celebrity cameos, which are fairly enjoyable, but do little to save this film. Is it funny? Yes, but only if you are willing to turn your brain off and sit through the rest of this turkey. 

15. Jaws 3D 

  This was the point in the Jaws franchise where they clearly gave up. I mean, not that they hadn't already given up, considering the quality of the last few sequels, but this one really hit the "shitfest" nail on the head. The effects are laughable, the acting is crap, and the story is asinine. (Seaworld, really?) If a film exists solely to market 3-D effects, then it should not even exist at all. What a waste of celluloid and money. In fact, the money spent on this film could have gone to help charities. Think about that.

14. Scooby-Doo

  Remember a few moments ago when I talked about Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs being an insult to the original source material? Yes, well, Scooby-Doo did the exact same thing. This film was one of the many live-action kids movies from the early 2000's that ended up as a pile of shit. I think this is mainly due to how, at the time, they were taking animated concepts and making them into live-action movies, which seriously confused and annoyed people. Why mess with success? Did classic stories like Scooby-Doo and Alvin And The Chipmunks really call to be live-action? Plus, the animated Scooby is downright terrifying, and it seriously repelled my interest in seeing it as a kid. To add insult to injury, this trend has not died out: a live-action film based on Jem And The Holograms will be coming out within a few years. And judging by what happened to Scooby (and others), it can be assumed that the film will not turn out well. Please, Hollywood, prove me wrong. 

13. Despicable Me 2

  Yeah, I understand that I will get a lot of hate for this one. But really, I just didn't enjoy it. The minions humor was overdone to the point of them not being cute anymore, and that problem was just the tip of the iceberg. The story was bland, the dialogue was annoyingly dumbed-down, and the overall animation and coloration was just...a nuisance. Really, I felt like I had fallen into some kind of Play-Dough fueled nightmare. This movie comes off as having the appearance of a kids show rather than a movie that both adults and children can enjoy. And the jokes have been seen before, so it is not like we are watching anything remotely exciting. I didn't like this film, and personally I found it unfunny. 

12. Home On The Range

   If you ever meet a person who claims that Disney has never half-assed a movie, show them Home On The Range. This has honestly got to be one of the most forgettable animated films in existence. The animation is weird, the characters are boring, and the entire premise is too thin to be compelling or exciting. I am going with Nostalgia Critic here: "Oh. My. God, do I hate this film!" A true disappointment on Disney's part, especially since they have set such a high bar for themselves. I don't even remember a lot about this movie, and that is probably a good thing. There is simply nothing that will stick with you, as compared to other Disney films. 

11. High School Musical

  I feel that you either loved or hated these movies. While I knew a lot of people who enjoyed them and surrounded themselves (and myself) with them, I couldn't bring myself to like this movie, much less any of the sequels. It is way too corny, way too clichèd, way too bloated with everything that ever made high school media representations to come off as ridiculous and juvenile. What else do you expect from a name like High School Musical? For some, this will bring back a lot of nostalgia. But personally, it just rips open a bunch of annoying memories. And I would rather not go through that again. 

50 Worst Movies Of All Time, #30-21

30. Epic Movie (come to think of it, anything by Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg)

  Seltzer/Friedberg films have become the bane of Hollywood. Not only are their movies way too over-the-top, nonsensical, ludicrous, crude, and terribly unfunny, but if a parody of something is worse than the actual thing being made fun of, something is most definitely wrong. I really only saw Epic Movie because I was a stupid kid and it was playing at a party. Even then I didn't get it. I suppose the stupidity of these films appeal to a certain demographic, but anyone with an IQ of 40 or over has learned to avoid these movies altogether. And so have I. 

29. The Adventures Of Shark-Boy And Lava Girl 

  Just so you are aware, this film was made by the same guy who did the Spy Kids films. And it was for this reason that I tried to avoid Sharkboy And Lavagirl as a kid. But, as luck would have it, it happened to be playing at a friend's house, and since there was nothing else to watch I ended up sitting down for it. Or at least, for the first half, because that was all I could stand. I literally felt my IQ drop as the story progressed, and I hated how everything was dumbed down so much that it seemed like the director did not take kids to be as smart as they actually tend to be. (By comparison, Pixar films tend to succeed in treating the audience as intelligent.) Corny, cheesy, and littered with horrible acting, stupid gimmicks, and lackluster effects, I am thankful that this movie was forgotten soon after it was released. 

28. The Cat In The Hat

  Some argue that Mike Meyers' career was in the crapper before this film. But I believe that this is the film that really marked the epic downfall of his comedic reputation. This film failed through the same way that most terrible kids movies fall flat: trying way, way too hard to get a laugh. I get that movies for children need to have adult jokes for the parents, but it has to be done in a way where it isn't smacking you in the face with its raunchiness and over-the-top nature. Rango did this just fine, but the same cannot be said for this movie. I feel like the classic children's book this movie was based off of was practically raped with a stick wrapped in barbed wire. Literally, there are minimal facets of this movie that are at all salvageable. You don't feel invested, you just feel increduibly irritated. Unfortunately, this was not the last Dr. Suess classic to be gutted and horrendously violated. Which brings us to...

27. The Lorax

  Who would've thought that a movie about anti-consumerism and environmentalism would be so blatantly promoted and abused that its message became ironic? Well, that's Hollywood marketing for you, I guess. I did not get why they chose to execute the film in the way that they did. The entire premise felt like they were more concerned with getting in with the "hip" crowd rather than staying true to the heart of the classic book. So this film failed like most of the Suess adaptations. Plus, it was packed with unlikeable and boring characters, ugly cinematography, and an all-around confusing message. Hopefully, Hollywood has developed enough sense by now to forget about ruining another classic Dr. Suess book. 

26. Judy Moody And The Not Bummer Summer

  Fuck this movie! No, seriously. I was actually interested in getting to see it, and it was so unbearably disappointing that I felt deprived. Where was my quirky adaptation of a beloved children's novel? Why didn't this movie turn out as endearing as Diary Of A Wimpy Kid? Well, mainly it's because the film doesn't think you are all that smart. The jokes are dumb, the dialogue is irritatingly annoying, and the characters are so unlikeable it will drive you nuts. And just as an added note, I hated the color palette for this film; far too bright, and it makes it seem like everything is shouting at you. It's not funny, it's not cute, and it isn't at all memorable. Skip it! 

25. Bride Wars

  If you are a feminist, avert your eyes. This is probably the biggest woman-hating movie I have ever seen. What am I saying? Well, the entire premise is based on the sexist stereotype that women become catty and materialistic when it comes down to who gets the better Barbie. In the beginning, we felt invested in the two girls because they had a solid friendship. So how does it make sense that they are willing to destroy that completely just for a stupid wedding? Really, this entire movie will make you feel that Alice Paul and Susan B. Anthony just rolled in their graves. I seriously think that the Women's Movement was sent back a few years when this film came out. If you enjoy females acting like emotional, catty bitches, check this film out. But since I want to keep my food in my stomach, I will avoid it again in the future.

24. The Pink Panther

  I have recently put Steve Martin on my list of "Comedic Actors Who Made Some Really Awful Movie Choices", right next to Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, and Jim Carrey. My God, what happened to all of these actors? I know they are funny, I have seen them be funny. Here, Steve Martin could not be further from his element. In my opinion, he tends to work best as a cocky and sarastic father figure, as that always gets a lot of laughs. But this performance was painful. Straight-up painful. the weird mannerisms, the horrid accent, everything about it is corny and wrong. Newflash, Hollywood: please stop helping good comedians ruin their careers. 

23. Chicken Little 

  If you have ever thought that Disney was incapable of making a bad movie, chances are you changed your mind when you saw Chicken Little. To be fair, it wasn't as terrible as some other animated films are, but still, Disney has set the bar high for itself, and this movie falls flat. I feel that the film was either trying too hard or not trying enough. The jokes, and really the entire concept, is confusing, and most of the film feels incomplete. Plus, I am completely bewildered as to why they went in the direction of aliens, like, really Hollywood, is that your solution to everything? All I can say is that there was nothing terribly special about this film, and as a result, it comes off as a boring, generic kids movie. Certainly not Disney or even Dreamworks caliber. 

22. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

   Is there really anything else that needs to be said, judging by the title? This film is one of the many horrendous Christmas specials that somehow came to fruitition over the years. The video quality and design for this is absolutely terrible, so much so that the obviously low budget is laughable. The problem with Christmas movies is that they are usually a hit or miss. This one is most definitely a miss. Who even came up with this stupid concept? Never before have I seen a film that had taken the concepts of Christmas joy, Santa Claus, and good-will-onto-men, and completely shit all over it in one atrocious film. If I could even call it a film, for the word implies at least some decent credibility, and this turkey deserves very little. 

21. Alvin And The Chipmunks 

  When this film came out, I seriously figured that I was going to hate it. And lo and behold, I did. Yet another really, really stupid kids movie. I mean, why do they always feel compelled to make movies solely bent on stupid jokes that don't require the kids to think? You aren't really helping anyone by making them feel dumber after watching it. If the studio spent this much time and money on the animation for the chipmunks, they could have at least developed a story that hadn't been done to death and wasn't riddled with clichès. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. 

Top 50 Worst Movies, #40-31

40. Spider-Man 3

  This film actually wasn't too bad when I watched it as a kid. Then I watched it a few years later, and...yeah, I began to see why people are annoyed by it. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effects and the cinematography, but the real weakness of the film is its complexity. There are too many stry layers, too many villains, too much going on. It takes away from the fight scenes that make superhero movies great, which is a letdown. And don't even get me started on the scene where Peter Parker did a Saturday Night Fever strut through NYC. 

39. The Purge

  I was very excited to see this film. By the way it was promoted, the entire story was going to be new, smart, and engaging. Sadly, it turned out to be none of those things. Instead of expanding upon the interesting premise, the story was afraid to take the risk and decided instead to dumb itself down into become a cheap home invasion movie that we have seen a million times before. Plus, a lot of the story elements are nonsensical and the acting comes off as corny and ridiculous rather than tense. The only bright side to this was at least it resulted in a slightly better sequel. 

38. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

  Upon seeing the trailer for this, I had two thoughts, my first thought being, "Oh, so they are trying to revive the Indy movies. Okay, that's cool." My second thought, which took on a whole different meaning after seeing the film, was, "Why?" Why, indeed. Why does this film even exist? I get that they are trying to introduce Indiana Jones to a newer generation, but what was stopping them from just re-releasing the original films in theaters? This movie has such a massive ego that it comes off as in-your-face rather than entertaining, and pretentious rather than fun, which is saying a lot when the entire premise is based off of a conspiracy theory. (A really, really ridiculous conspiracy theory.) And that ending, my goodness, who thought that would be a decent ending? Though this movie was a financial success, it still comes off years later as a contrived money-making device rather than a compelling film. 

37. Happy Feet

  This was the movie that made my parents question why they ever took us to see children's films. Come to think of it, I didn't even like this movie when I saw it, and I was a kid when it came out. While I understand that the penguins idea appealed to younger audiences, that is kind of the only thing the movie has going for it. There are so many serious themes about pollution and endangered species and politics that you wonder if you are even watching a kid's movie anymore. Plus, the near-ending with the protagonist facing his colony again left me confused, as the morals got kind of mixed up somewhere. In reality, this is one really messed up movie, and far too heavy on the environmental messages to be anywhere near as enjoyable as any other lighthearted kid's movie. 

36. Wrath Of The Titans

  To be fair, I give the first film, Clash Of The Titans, a bit of credit. Sure, it was campy as hell, but it kind of knew it was campy, and therefore was a bit easier to enjoy. Here, they took the original premise and added about seven thousand pounds of extra cheesiness. Only, the cheese doesn't even taste good; it's basically stale. The acting is ludicrous, the premise is full of cliches, and really, the entire film went back and forth from being too slow to incredibly rushed. What results is a heap of sloppy visual effects and cluttered cinematography that will annoy anyone who watches it. 

35. Emperor

  Okay, I still can't answer the one question about this movie: what is this film supposed to be about? Its title is "Emperor", but it was advertised as really being about General Douglas MacArthur, yet it actually turned out to be focusing on a U.S WWII soldier who is trying to find the girl he fell in love with while stationed in Japan. Really, I can only think, huh?  What a confusing film. It was like none of the department heads for this production even spoke with each other and just went along with their own ideas. The pacing is weird, and it cuts back and forth between the soldier and the emperor and MacArthur so much that--well, I don't even know what I am supposed to be caring about. While some people got this movie, it was far too choppy and confusing for me. But since it does have a bit of credible acting and cinematography, it is higher up on the list for not being too terrible. 

34. The Wicker Man

  Forget, "Not the bees!", it's more like, "Not the Wicker Man!" Yes, this movie kind of sucked big time. I give it credit for trying to be something new, but it just doesn't come together as well as it thinks it does. The story and characters are pulled in all types of pointless directions instead of developing properly, and the entire film is so focused on trying to pull the rug out from under people, it loses common sense. I like Nicholas Cage as much as anyone, but this was a poor choice on his part. And if you search his comments on this film on Wikipedia, you will see that he admits this as well. So that is really saying a lot about this movie. It's really just a stinkburger with a flower crown on top. 

33. The Mummy Returns and The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

  I am going to be lumping these movies (and several other, future movies on this list) together because they were equally terrible. And, to my suprise, they were kind of terrible in the same ways. Same cliches and overdone archetypes, same lazy directing, same horrible, horrible special effects. I mean, really, did you think anything different when you saw that awful rendering job they did on the Scorpion King? He does not look like an undead creature; he looks like Dwayne Johnson if a five-year-old used Photoshop to edit a Windows screensaver onto his lower half. Plus, the acting is as campy and corny as it gets, and some of the dialogue comes off as trying to insult classic adventure films, rather than actually trying to be one. I am just astonished that they didn't learn enough from The Mummy Returns to avoid the same mistakes in Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor. In fact, the third movie is a culmination of all of the problems in the Mummy films, magnified about a hundred times over. Not good, and not entertaining in the slightest. 

32. Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

  This film would have worked great as some sort of sketch comedy spin-off of The Blair Witch Project. But as a full-length film? It fails, and fails so hard it is practically embedded in the bottom of the barrel. There is almost nothing salvageable about this film. The most insulting aspect is that it had almost nothing to do with the first movie at all, and does not even have a coherent story, villain, or motivation. Literally, is this even a movie, or just a bunch of deleted scenes left over from the Scary Movie franchise? You don't care about the characters, you don't care about what they do, you don't care about anything. Plus, the film quality is shit. Pure, absolute shit. It is no wonder why they have been trying to cover up the existence of this film ever since it came out.

31. Saw IV/Saw V/Saw VI

  Again, I am lumping these together because they are equally shitty. I liked the first Saw, the second one was somewhat decent, the third one was just okay, and all of the rest (except for the seventh film, because that was actually my favorite) progressively went down in quality. Especially considering that these particular three films went off in a completely alienating and confusing direction in terms of story and characters, they came off as being cash cows instead of the original piece of cinema that the first movie turned out to be. Plus, the franchise has been tossed from person to person, and the gap in creativity and motivation really shows its ugly head in these movies. The only thing I admire about these films are the traps. But it would have been better if the characters placed inside them were people that I actually became invested in. And since I did not, I spent my time wondering when each of these movies would finally be over. 

The Gothic Bohemian's Top 50 Worst Movies Of All Time, #50-41

  The reason this list is shorter than the “Best” movies list is because I tend to try avoiding movies that are universally deemed to be horrible. However, I have had the misfortune of running into one or two on several occasions, so here they are. In all of their painful, cringe-inducing glory.  

  50. Dinosaur

  To be fair, I did enjoy this movie (momentarily) as a young kid, mainly because I loved dinosaurs and was too young for Jurassic Park. But still, looking back, I think that actually may have resulted in me forcing myself to like it. The CGI was impressive at the time, but it's really dated now, and plus the entire movie lacks the depth that it advertised. It's also confusing and kind of annoying how some of the dinosaurs speak, while others only communicate like, well, dinosaurs. (Yeah, they never explain that). In short, this was kind of a miss on Disney's part, and they should really stick to cute animals talking, not extinct and sometimes-kind-of-terrifying animals talking. 

  49. Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 

  There are a few things that are pretty well done with this movie. They improved upon the effects, and added a bunch of characters while sharpening the cinematography. That being said, this film also carries a lot of problems. (And that's besides Jar-Jar Binks, mind you). The pace feels a bit uneven, it alternates between having too few and too many layers, and a lot of elements just come off as being cheesy and annoying. It doesn't really succeed in carrying the depth and dark tone that this saga is known for, and that is why it isn't exactly my top Star Wars movie. In fact, it's at the bottom of that list.

  48. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

  This was not exactly my favorite Twilight book to begin with, so it kind of went downhill from there. It was while watching this film in theaters that I began to realize that the studio was starting to give up on this saga, and at this point they were only in it for the money. While I did kind of appreciate that they were taking it a little more seriously, that is also where the film fails in some areas. This is not some type of mature Hollywood drama; when it comes down to it, it's just a teen romance. That's it, nothing special. Not to mention the fact that hardly anything whatsoever happens in this movie. In fact, it was largely just two hours of mindless dialogue and arguments, and only picked up towards the end. Which was a somewhat-decent way to build up suspense, I guess, but it does not work in saving the rest of the film. 

  47. The Golden Compass

  One of the things I admired about the book this movie was based on was how it treated you as an intelligent reader. For a kid's book, that is rare, unless you count Harry Potter. In this movie, however, it does the opposite. It was painful to watch this great book become so dumbed-down and basic to the point where there was no plot. They completely gloss over the darker themes that made the book work, so the film comes off as incredibly bland, despite the impressive visual effects. But likewise, great effects do not equate to a great film. What a disappointment. 

  46. The Day After Tomorrow

  First of all, who ever thought this would be a decent and attention-grabbing idea for a film title? Did the producers really consider this to be a badass movie name, or did they just need to come up with a quick one before the film premiered? In short, I feel like disaster films are kind of like chocolate Easter bunnies (the cheap kind, not the good kind); enjoyable at the moment you experience it, despite the severe lack of any substance within. And plus, if you have too many of these movies in your gut, a bad feeling in your stomach could result afterwards. Overall this film is really more of a guilty pleasure and a good way to kill two hours, but really nothing all that special that would set it apart as being a really decent film. 

  45. The Rugrats Go Wild!

  I remember how, as a kid, it kind of felt weird whenever Nickelodeon did some of type of crossover for shows and cartoons, since that kind of ruined the integrity of the shows. These two sets of characters, the Rugrats and the Wild Thornberrys, each work incredibly well in their own element because they are the center focus. When you take them out of that element and put them together, they just seem like regular characters. Plus, I did not care for the overtly artistic and polished look of animation that Nickelodeon did with the other Rugrats and Wild Thornberry films. But at least those films worked well through their exclusive environments. 

  44. Van Helsing

  Even though this film is ten years old, I still have trouble figuring out as to whether this was supposed to be serious or intended as a parody of Hollywood monster films. Here, they seem to try and do both, and the result is a big-budget, corny mess of hokey acting and lackluster CGI effects. It would have worked better if this film just would've picked a damn side: serious horror thriller, or campy but enjoyable parody. When you try to do both, the film comes off as having an ego when it doesn't deserve one, and the audience feels more annoyed than entertained. If the film took itself less seriously (or even more seriously), it probably could've worked. But no, it chooses to wallow in the middle of the spectrum and does not end up being as entertaining as it could have been. 

  43. National Treasure 2

  There are some sequels that just shouldn't exist. (And yes, you are going to be seeing a few more of those on this list). The first film stands out well enough on its own, but of course it made money, and in Hollywood, money automatically equates to a sequel. What made the first film work was that they took a seemingly ridiculous theory (a map on the back of the Declaration, really?) and tied up all these historical points to make it seem real, and thus, like an actual adventure. Here, they take something that is already real, the President's Book Of Secrets, and twisted it up into a nonsensical mess of wildly unrelated historical facts, which almost seems to discredit the legend and make it appear a lot less interesting than it is. Plus, a lot of the elements are put together weird, including the characters, which results in a lack of the charm that the first movie presents to the audience. 

  42. 2012

  Did this movie have impressive effects? Absolutely. Problem is, that's all it really has going for it. If I could give this film a proper name, it would be: "2012 Plot Conveniences". Seriously, though, this entire film is just a perfect example of a lazy screenwriter. Every obstacle the characters encounter is solved within a few minutes, or even a few seconds, all because their solution just happens to present itself at the right time. If they are only surviving due to sheer dumb luck, then why should I be invested? Why should I care? In short, I don't, and you won't. Really this movie is right up there with The Day After Tomorrow as a decent but largely unsatisfying way to kill two hours. But there are better ways to kill time. 

  41. Shrek The Third 

  This franchise would have been fine if they had just stuck with the first and second films. I have no idea why this film even existed in the first place. Everything was tied up really nice in the previous film, Shrek 2, and Shrek The Third seems to slap its predecessor in the face by trying to dig up a nonsensical and uninteresting premise for a story, which results in a bland and kind of ridiculous plot. It was annoying and boring to feel like I was watching the deleted scenes and recycled plot points from Shrek 2. In fact, this movie is like someone took Shrek 2 and seriously watered it down to the point where watching it feels like a chore rather than an entertaining experience. 

"The Purge: Anarchy" Film Review

 

  Many people say that The Purge was a bit of a ridiculous movie. That is correct.
  They also say that the sequel was much better. Also correct.
  Allow me to elaborate:
  The first movie introduces the concept of this (possibly upcoming) franchise, in which American society is now a sort of future utopia. Unemployment and poverty is virtually nonexistent, as is all national crime. This is due to how, on one night every year, all crime is made legal for 12 hours, in an effort to have the people "cleanse" themselves of their hatred. The Purge did not delve into too many other details, besides noting that the government is now ruled by the "New Founding Fathers Of America"; rather, it focused on a rich family (the Sandins) as they attempt to protect their home on Purge night after a homeless man is accidentally let in by their youngest kid. The fact that the film chose not to expand upon the interesting backstory is what ultimately led to it being kind of disappointment. Instead, the film just became a generic cat-and-mouse home invasion flick that was so nonsensical at times, I was literally laughing in my seat.
  But where the first film failed, the sequel pretty much succeeded. In The Purge: Anarchy we see a lot more characters, a lot more important exposition, and practically everything we were hoping to experience when watching its predecessor. While it is really more of an indirect sequel, as only one person from the first film actually makes an appearance, the story feels a lot more developed and a lot of the elements are far less uneven. The plot itself centers around several characters: a police officer who aims to use the Purge in order to hunt down the man responsible for the death of his son; a single mother and her young daughter who are trying to avoid Purge night altogether; and a young couple who is trapped on the streets on Purge night when their car breaks down in the middle of the city. But when the Purge begins, all hell breaks loose as our characters are inevitably forced together and must rely on each other to survive the night.
  If the political connotations of the last movie were too subtle for you, they come out in full-force with the sequel. I am not going to delve too deeply into it, but I will say that it can get to the point where it's a bit confusing. The morals of this story and the actions of the characters are contradictory at times, and it is hard to determine just exactly who we are supposed to be rooting for. They are painting most of the characters as being cold and unfeeling, yet also innocent at times, so the constantly changing atmosphere can be a little annoying. The social and racial commentary is obviously there, but oddly enough, both left-wing and right-wing views can be seen as present in this film, depending on how you take it. So it is probably a relief that it doesn't completely shift in one direction. A vast improvement on the previous film, and entertaining enough to be a good pick for movie night.
 
  Overall rating: 7/10

Late Summer Update

    First off I would like to apologize for that sort-of mean-spirited post I put up last night. I was on a bit of a rant after reading an article online, and I take responsibility for the fact that anyone may have become upset or angry over it. That being said, with school approaching again, I have a few updates to inform everyone of:

    -More of "Artist Spotlight". With the novelty of Pinterest and Stumbleupon, I am discovering newer artists every day, and want to be sure that they are taken notice of. 

    -A "Worst Movies Of All Time" List. Since I already did a list of the best, I feel it has to be reciprocal. Maybe I'll also throw in a "Guilty Pleasures" film list as well. 

    -More social commentary! Huzzah!

    -Possible updates on how my DIY projects and book projects are going. 

"2001: A Space Odyssey" Film Review

   I have been waiting a long time to see this movie and decided to force myself to watch it last night so that I would finally commit to making sure I saw it. And what did I think of this grand space epic after it ended? 

   ...I can't find the words. 

  Literally, there are no small set of words I can find to describe this movie, so I am going to try and use every single adjective that pops into my head. 

  It was:

  Epic, colossal, gigantic, astronomical, monumental, mind-boggling, paranoia-inducing, stomach-churning, brain-melting, mind-fucking, insane, psychotic, bizarre, demented, deranged, surreal, scary, terrifying, jolting, petrifying, traumatic, wonderful, glorious, illustrious, genius, expansive, thought-provoking, maniacal, unhinged, and just downright wild. 

  I felt a spectrum of emotions while viewing this picture. The artistic vision, the special effects, the camera angles, the cinematography; all of it is just brilliant. But what really makes this movie is the sound. There is no sound in space, so the entire film relies largely on visuals instead of dialogue, and it works incredibly well. The audio comes in and drops off at unexpected moments, leaving a ringing sound in your ears that draws you into the diegetic world of this film. Speaking of the diegetic world, it is huge. I mean, really huge. Possibly one of the biggest "worlds" I have ever seen play out in a movie. The precise attention to detail is insane, the coloration and lighting is spot-on, and the designs for a lot of the futuristic mechanisms are pleasantly surreal eye candy. 

  The film is told in three parts: The Dawn Of Man (showing early primates), TMA-1 (showing humans interacting onboard a domestic transportational spacecraft and finding a weird artifact buried on another planet), Jupiter Mission (in which a unit of astronauts are sent out to explore Jupiter with the HAL 9000 supercomputer), and Jupiter And Beyond The Infinite (for which it is impossible to give a description). Tying each of these acts together is a mysterious, rectangular object called the monolith, which the conscious beings in each part interact with in turn. As the film goes on, the humans learn more about technology and evolution, as the HAL 9000 computer is becoming disconcerted with how the humans are running the Jupiter mission, and what it may mean for the future. As a result, the human astronauts are equally unsettled by what HAL is truly capable of. 

  Let me talk about the famous "Stargate Sequence". This is the crown jewel of the entire film. It was insanely terrifying and paranoia-inducing, but also gives the sense of a crazy amusement park ride. It lasts for over six minutes, and kidnaps your consciousness with the unsettling musical score and seizure-inducing visuals. Watch this part of the film (especially when you are high), and your mind will flip itself inside-out. 

  The act of simply using mere words to describe this film would not be giving it enough credit. 2001: A Space Odyssey is in a category of its own. It is definitely the best film I have seen all summer, and a ride I hope to take again in the future. 

  Overall Rating: 10/10