The reason this list is shorter than the “Best” movies list
is because I tend to try avoiding movies that are universally deemed to be
horrible. However, I have had the misfortune of running into one or two on
several occasions, so here they are. In all of their painful, cringe-inducing
glory.
50. Dinosaur
To be fair, I did enjoy this movie (momentarily) as a young kid, mainly because I loved dinosaurs and was too young for Jurassic Park. But still, looking back, I think that actually may have resulted in me forcing myself to like it. The CGI was impressive at the time, but it's really dated now, and plus the entire movie lacks the depth that it advertised. It's also confusing and kind of annoying how some of the dinosaurs speak, while others only communicate like, well, dinosaurs. (Yeah, they never explain that). In short, this was kind of a miss on Disney's part, and they should really stick to cute animals talking, not extinct and sometimes-kind-of-terrifying animals talking.
49. Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
There are a few things that are pretty well done with this movie. They improved upon the effects, and added a bunch of characters while sharpening the cinematography. That being said, this film also carries a lot of problems. (And that's besides Jar-Jar Binks, mind you). The pace feels a bit uneven, it alternates between having too few and too many layers, and a lot of elements just come off as being cheesy and annoying. It doesn't really succeed in carrying the depth and dark tone that this saga is known for, and that is why it isn't exactly my top Star Wars movie. In fact, it's at the bottom of that list.
48. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1
This was not exactly my favorite Twilight book to begin with, so it kind of went downhill from there. It was while watching this film in theaters that I began to realize that the studio was starting to give up on this saga, and at this point they were only in it for the money. While I did kind of appreciate that they were taking it a little more seriously, that is also where the film fails in some areas. This is not some type of mature Hollywood drama; when it comes down to it, it's just a teen romance. That's it, nothing special. Not to mention the fact that hardly anything whatsoever happens in this movie. In fact, it was largely just two hours of mindless dialogue and arguments, and only picked up towards the end. Which was a somewhat-decent way to build up suspense, I guess, but it does not work in saving the rest of the film.
47. The Golden Compass
One of the things I admired about the book this movie was based on was how it treated you as an intelligent reader. For a kid's book, that is rare, unless you count Harry Potter. In this movie, however, it does the opposite. It was painful to watch this great book become so dumbed-down and basic to the point where there was no plot. They completely gloss over the darker themes that made the book work, so the film comes off as incredibly bland, despite the impressive visual effects. But likewise, great effects do not equate to a great film. What a disappointment.
46. The Day After Tomorrow
First of all, who ever thought this would be a decent and attention-grabbing idea for a film title? Did the producers really consider this to be a badass movie name, or did they just need to come up with a quick one before the film premiered? In short, I feel like disaster films are kind of like chocolate Easter bunnies (the cheap kind, not the good kind); enjoyable at the moment you experience it, despite the severe lack of any substance within. And plus, if you have too many of these movies in your gut, a bad feeling in your stomach could result afterwards. Overall this film is really more of a guilty pleasure and a good way to kill two hours, but really nothing all that special that would set it apart as being a really decent film.
45. The Rugrats Go Wild!
I remember how, as a kid, it kind of felt weird whenever Nickelodeon did some of type of crossover for shows and cartoons, since that kind of ruined the integrity of the shows. These two sets of characters, the Rugrats and the Wild Thornberrys, each work incredibly well in their own element because they are the center focus. When you take them out of that element and put them together, they just seem like regular characters. Plus, I did not care for the overtly artistic and polished look of animation that Nickelodeon did with the other Rugrats and Wild Thornberry films. But at least those films worked well through their exclusive environments.
44. Van Helsing
Even though this film is ten years old, I still have trouble figuring out as to whether this was supposed to be serious or intended as a parody of Hollywood monster films. Here, they seem to try and do both, and the result is a big-budget, corny mess of hokey acting and lackluster CGI effects. It would have worked better if this film just would've picked a damn side: serious horror thriller, or campy but enjoyable parody. When you try to do both, the film comes off as having an ego when it doesn't deserve one, and the audience feels more annoyed than entertained. If the film took itself less seriously (or even more seriously), it probably could've worked. But no, it chooses to wallow in the middle of the spectrum and does not end up being as entertaining as it could have been.
43. National Treasure 2
There are some sequels that just shouldn't exist. (And yes, you are going to be seeing a few more of those on this list). The first film stands out well enough on its own, but of course it made money, and in Hollywood, money automatically equates to a sequel. What made the first film work was that they took a seemingly ridiculous theory (a map on the back of the Declaration, really?) and tied up all these historical points to make it seem real, and thus, like an actual adventure. Here, they take something that is already real, the President's Book Of Secrets, and twisted it up into a nonsensical mess of wildly unrelated historical facts, which almost seems to discredit the legend and make it appear a lot less interesting than it is. Plus, a lot of the elements are put together weird, including the characters, which results in a lack of the charm that the first movie presents to the audience.
42. 2012
Did this movie have impressive effects? Absolutely. Problem is, that's all it really has going for it. If I could give this film a proper name, it would be: "2012 Plot Conveniences". Seriously, though, this entire film is just a perfect example of a lazy screenwriter. Every obstacle the characters encounter is solved within a few minutes, or even a few seconds, all because their solution just happens to present itself at the right time. If they are only surviving due to sheer dumb luck, then why should I be invested? Why should I care? In short, I don't, and you won't. Really this movie is right up there with The Day After Tomorrow as a decent but largely unsatisfying way to kill two hours. But there are better ways to kill time.
41. Shrek The Third
This franchise would have been fine if they had just stuck with the first and second films. I have no idea why this film even existed in the first place. Everything was tied up really nice in the previous film, Shrek 2, and Shrek The Third seems to slap its predecessor in the face by trying to dig up a nonsensical and uninteresting premise for a story, which results in a bland and kind of ridiculous plot. It was annoying and boring to feel like I was watching the deleted scenes and recycled plot points from Shrek 2. In fact, this movie is like someone took Shrek 2 and seriously watered it down to the point where watching it feels like a chore rather than an entertaining experience.
No comments:
Post a Comment