10 Movies You Should Not Watch Before You Go Camping

Camping season has officially started, and no trip is complete without a movie to kick off the vacation. That being said, if you plan on spending some time overnight in the woods, here are some flicks you should definitely not see unless you want to spend the whole night in a fetal position, sucking your thumb and wondering why you couldn't drop $46 to stay at the motel back on the freeway.

Here they are:

1. The Blair Witch Project
       
Scariest film I've seen to date. It is (supposedly) made up of footage found in the woods after three student filmmakers disappeared while filming a local legend. Maybe you city people won't be too frightened over it, but I live in the middle of the woods and our house is surrounded by old vacation homes that have been abandoned for years. It seems to play right into the story, and that's really just creepy. Especially if you plan on sleeping in a tent far away from other campers, I suggest you avoid this one.


2. The Descent 

This movie was disgusting with a capital "D". The story is about this group of women as they go spelunking to reconnect after a tragedy; however, they soon discover that the caves are inhabited by subhuman cannibalistic creatures. If you can handle people getting ripped apart and eaten alive, then more power to you. But for those of you who intend to eat that camping food your cooking over the fire, don't watch this movie.



3. Into The Wild

Not technically a scary movie. What is scary, however, is that Chris McCandless went into Alaska  almost completely unprepared. And that's pretty much how he ended up dying. Now, I should have probably put this on the list of "Ten Movies You Should Watch Before You Go Camping," but the reason it is on this list is if you see this before you go camping, it will put the fear of the outdoors in you and prevent you from ever leaving your house again.

4. 2012

Especially important if you plan on visiting Yellowstone, which has been known to have one of the largest supervolcanoes in the world. Now, the chances of the volcano erupting anytime soon is very slim, and as we can see, the 2012 rapture did not happen according to plan. If you see this movie and still plan on going to a place like Yellowstone, at least buy yourself a RV, as the movie clearly illustrates that most RV's can withstand volcanism.

5. Wolf Creek

For all of you people who don't understand this already, hitchhiking is a bad, bad, BAD idea. Even things like allowing creepy old guys to tow your car back to his house is a bad idea. What makes this movie scary is that it is supposedly based on a true story. (And to be clear, The Blair Witch Project is fake.) If your friend suggests a road trip, make sure that your car has been inspected and that all cell phones are properly working. And if you can't do that, then this movie may convince you otherwise. But really, just try not to watch it.

6. The Hills Have Eyes
To be fair, I have not seen this movie, but I've heard enough about it to include it in my list. Even looking at the movie stills made me shiver. They picked the creepiest looking people to be in this movie, and it works frighteningly well, apparently. You don't have to see this movie if you are smart about where you are going. and if a bunch of weird people on the road try to get your attention, floor it.

Take my advice and just floor it.









7. Friday the 13th

There really isn't anything I can say about this movie that hasn't already been said. Watch this film and you can be sure you'll never want to go summer camp again. I think we all would like to know how Jason is even alive, but what I really want to know is why the heck the water in the picture is yellow.




8. Evil Dead

By the time this movie came around, people knew enough about creepy houses to completely avoid them (see entry #1). And you should seriously abide by that rule. Pick one that is actually inhabited by nice people and has a reputation that does not include some type of horrific murder. But even if you do pick a nice little bed-and-breakfast, avoid this movie. Unless you plan on staying far, far, away from the woods.


9. The Cabin In The Woods

Saw this trailer and thought, like so many other people did, that this movie was going to suck. But apparently it defied expectations by introducing a new and pretty scary concept to the horror genre. If you hate monsters, or the thought of encountering one puts a chill down your spine, don't think about seeing this movie.

10. Frozen 

I didn't forget you skiiers. So Frozen is a very simple premise: three young adults get trapped up on a ski lift for the weekend. Wolves are down below. Do the math.
Please avoid this movie if you plan on skiing. The skiing industry has criticized this movie enough; it doesn't really make sense to beat a dead horse. (or maybe a dead body?)