I've known that they were remaking Carrie since last August. At first I was critical, thinking, "How on Earth can they remake something like this???" But when I found that Chloe-Grace Moretz is in it, I stepped back a bit and realized that this could actually be a decent movie. The teaser was released sometime last October, and the official trailer made it's debut about two months ago. Let's get down to it....
Ads. (I hate these ads. And I found it completely ironic that back in December, when waiting for the Mama trailer to start, the opening ad was the trailer for Mama. Double feature!!!)
Well, they have a nice house anyway. Neighborhood is suspiciously quiet, kind of creeping me out.
Julianne Moore is singing kind of flat while making clothes from assorted pieces. Coraline, anyone?
Chloe-Grace Moretz is screaming from inside her Harry Potter closet and just when we can hear her clearly the movie studio puts in their logo.
Chloe walks up and down the halls saying, "The other kids...they think I'm weird." Obviously, when your mother dresses you like a Mormon Hipster.
"Carrie? Favorite poem, did you bring one?" (Why does everyone laugh after the teacher says this? Do they find it necessary to pick on her for every single time her name is said?)
"I want to be normal", Carrie says. (In that swimsuit, she's as normal as normal gets.) And then a girl is all, "Wipe that smile off your face." (Bullies are kind of slipping into not being entirely believable.)
Now it's time for a snippet of that iconic scene in which all the girls throw tampons at her in the locker room. Only this time they have smartphones, and Carrie's wearing a towel. Guess Chloe didn't agree to the same terms that Sissy Spacek did in 1976.
Her mom is all, "YOU HAVE A PERIOD NOW SO I'M GOING TO LOCK YOU IN YOUR HARRY POTTER CLOSET!" And she does. Jesus crucifix bleeds noticeably (what.the.hell.), and a huge crack splits the door. Julianne Moore looks stunned and in desperate need of conditioner.
After a short montage of Carrie discovering her powers, there is this bit with her lifting up the bed and several books....Exorcist, anyone?
Random jock boy asks her out for no reason.
HOLY CRAP brief shot of chaos in the gym WHAT IS GOING ON???
Carrie decides to make her own dress (Cinderella complex, I guess). More shots of fire in the gym!
Girl who used to bully her is now trying to make people stop picking on her. (At least, that's what I gathered. Don't know much about the other kids in the school. I saw the original but there may be a few things they changed around so I'm holding my initial judgement on characters for later.)
Carrie locks mom in Harry Potter closet ("Dobby is a free elf!!!")
Kids dump blood on her. (Does not really look like blood. Looks more like barbecue sauce.)
She stops a car in its tracks while covered in blood.
Kids start laughing.
Carrie is covered in blood and appears before a massive fire in the gym....
Title credits.
That's basically the whole trailer from start to finish....and pretty much the whole movie from start to finish. I understand that they probably thought it wouldn't be logical to create another 30-second trailer because everyone pretty much knows the whole story anyway. At least, I hope you do.
Make me proud, Chloe. I hope this movie doesn't suck.
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