Pinterest: As a typical white suburban mom, Pinterest lives in a neighborhood surrounded by other white suburban moms that fix gourmet meals each day, from recipes that have at least 3 adjectives in their name. Her perfect house has an indoor water slide, a redone barn, a perfect shabby-chic kitchen, and a closet filled with vintage clothes. She has no job of her own other than crafting homemade pastel things all day long for her children and planning her 3rd wedding.
Etsy: A Hipster kid who has nothing better to do than make something she believes is unique and cute while pricing it outrageously high in an attempt to pay off her student loans. She knows you need to put an owl on everything in your house and she is willing to do it while in an upcycled dress made of old shirts.
Offbeat Bride: While many see her as nice and pretty, she does not seem to know what wedding trends are nerdy-but-cool, nerdy-but-tacky, and the ones that are labeled as "quirky" so that they are of course done to death over and over again. She is always dressed in a white dress with rainbow lacing and red converse sneakers, and serves her cocktails in little Mason jars with people's names on them. Just don't ever mention to her that her theme has most likely been done before.
Facebook: Usually alternates between an annoying teenager and TMI suburban mom. They both find it necessary to tell everyone what they are doing, comment on everyone else's business, and "like" everything just to get on people's good sides. Problem is, this person can be a little too invasive sometimes, and incredibly annoying.
Twitter: Even more annoying than Facebook but about ten times more stupid. Twitter cannot even speak in full sentences and is always making grammatical errors. Plus, he finds the hashtag symbol to be badass but we all know he's just a wannabe.
Youtube: It is hard to say what mood he will be in on a given day. He has seen everything about everyone and has tons of life lessons up his sleeves, but occasionally he can turn into a lazy and vulgar person, sitting on the couch in his sweatshirt and making social commentary every so often. Be sure to only catch him on his good days.
Wikipedia: Sure, he's literary, but we also happen to question his resources when he spouts out things that don't make sense. By this point we see him as less of a notable source for facts and more of someone who would help write an essay on conspiracy theories.
Google: He's so big, so amazing, and so full of information that people are intimidated by him. He is innovative and flexible and will help you in any way he can.
