Things You Learn Growing Up As A Weird Kid

     I'm going to be writing this in the style of Cracked.com, just as an FYI. So, to begin, a long time ago I had to come to terms with the fact that I was a weird kid. Now, Hollywood and society in general both tend to emphasize and dramatize kids who are "weird", yet they still miss quite a few things here and there. Mainly, it's because "weird" kids could mean anything from kids who dress in handpainted clothes to individuals who collect dead things from their yard. Whatever the case, today's culture wants to accept nonconformity as a popular concept (ironic, yes), but they seem to forget what comes along in the lives of kids who are truly "weird". Allow me to explain….

1. Regardless of religion, race, or politics, your parents will probably be at odds as to what to do with you. I get that liberal parents may be more encouraging than conservative parents if you don't want to play the "right" sport or listen to the "right" music. But truth be told, any parent that is unfamiliar with their child's interests is generally left in the dust. They usually react by either attempting to learn more about this field of interest, or persuade their kid to seek out more familiar activities. But your parents won't be able to relate to everything you like, and this is especially true if you're an oddball of a child. Which brings me to...
2. Other parents will be even more weirded out. I got a lot of eye-rolls from other parents as a kid. It could have been because I was too loud, or too quiet, or too rough, or always saying the oddest things. I did, in fact, have a group of friends, but it was small, and even they were weirded out by me on more than one occasion. However, the worst part is that as a small child, parents still have authority over things like playdates and friendship circles. Did I find myself excluded on more than one occasion? Yes, I did. But the good thing is that I looked back and realized how I didn't want to be around those people anyway. 
3. You find yourself either ahead of the pack, or far behind. As a kid, I could talk for hours about Calvin and Hobbes, dinosaurs, and Titanic facts. But when it came to popular songs or TV shows, I was lost. Now, of course this wasn't a bad thing. But the thing is, nonconformity goes beyond the broad term of not "fitting in". In truth, you do fit in somewhere; just not where the rest of your peers are. So yes, in a sense, you do feel like you belong, but at the same time, it gets lonely. 
4. Some problems may disappear with age, but other issues are created as you get older. One side effect most people didn't anticipate (or bother to see) as a consequence of being a weird kid was my depression. I got it bad. After years of bullying and emotional abuse, I actually cut myself more than a few times. I would like to point out that mavericks aren't just carefree: in a sense, we are brave. Humans like conformity, because it's safer. So those who choose to go against the grain are more vulnerable, perhaps, and therefore more susceptible to mental issues in some cases. 
5. You become a commodity other people want to latch on to. Since noncomformity has become "fashionable" in recent years, having a maverick as a friend has been popularized. I have discovered that most people, while being enticed by individuality, still choose conformity as a sense of security. Therefore, they choose the next best thing, which is having a "weirdo" as a friend. In this sense, they can get as close to "oddball" culture as possible while still being mainstream. I cannot even count how many "normies" have followed me on Pinterest simply based on the fact that I'm pinning stuff on paganism, alternative fashion, and Tim Burton while they are more interested in pumpkin spice lattes and Ugg boots (yes, I realize that this sounds pretentious. Take it as you will). It still makes me wonder if this type of attention is better than no attention at all. 

"Antichrist" Film Review

     As an (upcoming) film major, I decided one snow day to start delving into the world of Lars Von Trier. Having received word about Antichrist from the reviewer YMS, I decided to give it a shot. Even though I was bracing myself beforehand with regards to the graphic content that many movie reviewers were consistently citing, I ended up enjoying this film quite a bit.

    The film possesses a largely abstract narrative structure, told in several parts. The story begins with a child falling out of a window as his parents make love in the other room. What results is the child's funeral, the guilt of the parents (who are never named), and their desire to recuperate by spending some time off in a cabin in the woods. While there, the mental state of the wife slowly deteriorates as the environment around the couple becomes increasingly paranoid and disturbingly sexual. 

    Now, obviously the film does exhibit some particularly graphic imagery, which makes for a brutal experience for anyone who does not usually delve in horror or arthouse films. Let me add a disclaimer here by stating that you will only enjoy this movie if you can stand most types of bodily mutilation. And I'll tell you, it is mutilation with a capital "M"; I honestly don't think I've seen this level of disturbing violence in a while. 

   But all that aside, there is a lot to admire about the film. The performances by Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willen Dafoe are superb, especially with regards to Gainsbourg's depiction of her character's deteriorating mental state. There is a raw, haunting nature to her performance, which gives the perception of her conflicts being more erotic rather than erratic. (Side note: I'll emphasize "erotic" here because I found this movie strangely easy to masturbate to. Take that information as you will). Dafoe's character provides a decent foil to the female, and makes her appear more aggressive, stronger, powerful, and ultimately deeper. As an audience member, you feel for both of them: the dejected mother with an empty womb, and the disoriented male counterpart who is at the mercy of the female. They both complement and destroy each other with a seductive edge. 

    The cinematography is well-executed with respects to how the coloration and framing both add to the chilling atmosphere and pull us into the diegesis, despite our growing discomfort. Actually, you want the discomfort; it has a strange, pleasant taste to it as the film progresses. (Salty, maybe? I'm not sure…). The world we enter within this film feels cold to the touch, and cuts us down to our bones. Within the vision of Lars Von Trier, Antichrist feels like a fairytale. A brutalized, abstract, borderline-pornographic fairytale, but a fairytale nonetheless. This is, in a sense, my type of art. Dark, seductive, unforgiving, yet elegant. 

   Antichrist is, without a doubt, one of the most refreshing films I have seen in a while, and one that I would certainly view several more times. Be warned, though: it is most definitely not for everyone. 

   Bravo, Lars von Trier. Fucking bra-vo. 

  

Overall rating: 10/10