Director Math

To celebrate my brief return to blogging, here's a funny:

FAMOUS DIRECTORS, IN MATH FORM

Blonde Ladies + "Fuck Da Police" + "Wait, What?" + Underpaid Violinists = Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock - Underpaid Violinists + "Fuck" + Voiceovers + Snarky People = Martin Scorsese

Big Faces + (Average Number of Takes For A Feature Film x Approx. Seven Million) + The Sound of Instruments Being Murdered = Stanley Kubrick

Lens Flares + Bicycles + Creatures + Kids = Steven Spielberg

Families + A Sense Of Hope + Shit Getting Fucked Up Anyway + Anxious Editing = Francis Ford Coppola

Theater + Bright Colors + Models + "I Am Not A Hipster" + Symmetrical Cinematography Porn = Wes Anderson

Cowboys + Americana - Happiness = John Ford

Wes Anderson + Darker Colors + Smooth As Fuck Tracking Shots + The Sound Of Beethoven's Orgasm = Paul Thomas Anderson

Porn + Good Cinematography - Pleasure = Lars Von Trier

Social Commentary + Black Power + Urban Life + 70's Aesthetic = Spike Lee

John Ford + Samurai Swords + Tracking Shots = Akira Kurosawa

Blood (x 1 million) + "Fuck" (x 3 million) = Quentin Tarantino

Unhappy People  + A Color Palette Sitting At Approximately -89.2 degrees Celsius = David Fincher

David Fincher + A Sense Of Hope + Average Length of a Film (x 2) = Christopher Nolan

Big Eyes + Blond Girls In Blue Dresses + Hot Topic = Tim Burton

"Wait, What?" + Factories + Nightmares = David Lynch

Regular People + "Holy Shit That's Disgusting" = David Cronenberg

Fairytales + Nightmares = Guillermo Del Toro

Heavy Stories x A Diary From A Rebellious 13-Year-Old = Sophia Coppola

Metal Music + Blood + Sheri Moon Zombie = Rob Zombie

Explosions + Hot Chicks + Ego = Michael Bay

Michael Bay - Explosions + Gore = Eli Roth

Superheroes - Bright Colors - Sense of Hope + CGI = Zack Snyder