This film actually wasn't too bad when I watched it as a kid. Then I watched it a few years later, and...yeah, I began to see why people are annoyed by it. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effects and the cinematography, but the real weakness of the film is its complexity. There are too many stry layers, too many villains, too much going on. It takes away from the fight scenes that make superhero movies great, which is a letdown. And don't even get me started on the scene where Peter Parker did a Saturday Night Fever strut through NYC.
39. The Purge
I was very excited to see this film. By the way it was promoted, the entire story was going to be new, smart, and engaging. Sadly, it turned out to be none of those things. Instead of expanding upon the interesting premise, the story was afraid to take the risk and decided instead to dumb itself down into become a cheap home invasion movie that we have seen a million times before. Plus, a lot of the story elements are nonsensical and the acting comes off as corny and ridiculous rather than tense. The only bright side to this was at least it resulted in a slightly better sequel.
38. Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Upon seeing the trailer for this, I had two thoughts, my first thought being, "Oh, so they are trying to revive the Indy movies. Okay, that's cool." My second thought, which took on a whole different meaning after seeing the film, was, "Why?" Why, indeed. Why does this film even exist? I get that they are trying to introduce Indiana Jones to a newer generation, but what was stopping them from just re-releasing the original films in theaters? This movie has such a massive ego that it comes off as in-your-face rather than entertaining, and pretentious rather than fun, which is saying a lot when the entire premise is based off of a conspiracy theory. (A really, really ridiculous conspiracy theory.) And that ending, my goodness, who thought that would be a decent ending? Though this movie was a financial success, it still comes off years later as a contrived money-making device rather than a compelling film.
37. Happy Feet
This was the movie that made my parents question why they ever took us to see children's films. Come to think of it, I didn't even like this movie when I saw it, and I was a kid when it came out. While I understand that the penguins idea appealed to younger audiences, that is kind of the only thing the movie has going for it. There are so many serious themes about pollution and endangered species and politics that you wonder if you are even watching a kid's movie anymore. Plus, the near-ending with the protagonist facing his colony again left me confused, as the morals got kind of mixed up somewhere. In reality, this is one really messed up movie, and far too heavy on the environmental messages to be anywhere near as enjoyable as any other lighthearted kid's movie.
36. Wrath Of The Titans
To be fair, I give the first film, Clash Of The Titans, a bit of credit. Sure, it was campy as hell, but it kind of knew it was campy, and therefore was a bit easier to enjoy. Here, they took the original premise and added about seven thousand pounds of extra cheesiness. Only, the cheese doesn't even taste good; it's basically stale. The acting is ludicrous, the premise is full of cliches, and really, the entire film went back and forth from being too slow to incredibly rushed. What results is a heap of sloppy visual effects and cluttered cinematography that will annoy anyone who watches it.
35. Emperor
Okay, I still can't answer the one question about this movie: what is this film supposed to be about? Its title is "Emperor", but it was advertised as really being about General Douglas MacArthur, yet it actually turned out to be focusing on a U.S WWII soldier who is trying to find the girl he fell in love with while stationed in Japan. Really, I can only think, huh? What a confusing film. It was like none of the department heads for this production even spoke with each other and just went along with their own ideas. The pacing is weird, and it cuts back and forth between the soldier and the emperor and MacArthur so much that--well, I don't even know what I am supposed to be caring about. While some people got this movie, it was far too choppy and confusing for me. But since it does have a bit of credible acting and cinematography, it is higher up on the list for not being too terrible.
34. The Wicker Man
Forget, "Not the bees!", it's more like, "Not the Wicker Man!" Yes, this movie kind of sucked big time. I give it credit for trying to be something new, but it just doesn't come together as well as it thinks it does. The story and characters are pulled in all types of pointless directions instead of developing properly, and the entire film is so focused on trying to pull the rug out from under people, it loses common sense. I like Nicholas Cage as much as anyone, but this was a poor choice on his part. And if you search his comments on this film on Wikipedia, you will see that he admits this as well. So that is really saying a lot about this movie. It's really just a stinkburger with a flower crown on top.
33. The Mummy Returns and The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor
I am going to be lumping these movies (and several other, future movies on this list) together because they were equally terrible. And, to my suprise, they were kind of terrible in the same ways. Same cliches and overdone archetypes, same lazy directing, same horrible, horrible special effects. I mean, really, did you think anything different when you saw that awful rendering job they did on the Scorpion King? He does not look like an undead creature; he looks like Dwayne Johnson if a five-year-old used Photoshop to edit a Windows screensaver onto his lower half. Plus, the acting is as campy and corny as it gets, and some of the dialogue comes off as trying to insult classic adventure films, rather than actually trying to be one. I am just astonished that they didn't learn enough from The Mummy Returns to avoid the same mistakes in Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor. In fact, the third movie is a culmination of all of the problems in the Mummy films, magnified about a hundred times over. Not good, and not entertaining in the slightest.
32. Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
This film would have worked great as some sort of sketch comedy spin-off of The Blair Witch Project. But as a full-length film? It fails, and fails so hard it is practically embedded in the bottom of the barrel. There is almost nothing salvageable about this film. The most insulting aspect is that it had almost nothing to do with the first movie at all, and does not even have a coherent story, villain, or motivation. Literally, is this even a movie, or just a bunch of deleted scenes left over from the Scary Movie franchise? You don't care about the characters, you don't care about what they do, you don't care about anything. Plus, the film quality is shit. Pure, absolute shit. It is no wonder why they have been trying to cover up the existence of this film ever since it came out.
31. Saw IV/Saw V/Saw VI
Again, I am lumping these together because they are equally shitty. I liked the first Saw, the second one was somewhat decent, the third one was just okay, and all of the rest (except for the seventh film, because that was actually my favorite) progressively went down in quality. Especially considering that these particular three films went off in a completely alienating and confusing direction in terms of story and characters, they came off as being cash cows instead of the original piece of cinema that the first movie turned out to be. Plus, the franchise has been tossed from person to person, and the gap in creativity and motivation really shows its ugly head in these movies. The only thing I admire about these films are the traps. But it would have been better if the characters placed inside them were people that I actually became invested in. And since I did not, I spent my time wondering when each of these movies would finally be over.
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