From the trailers, this seemed like an interesting enough premise. It was going to feature a talented comedic cast, and though the story was familiar, we hoped that they would put a good spin on the whole premise. Well, truth be told, this movie was straight up pointless, and insanely stupid. Many people would use this film and Mall Cop as examples of Kevin James' sinking career, but at least Mall Cop was entertaining because the characters were likeable. The characters in this film are irritating and one-dimensional as hell. Also, the sudden shift in James' character is too implausible to be at all realistic, making you feel like the movie just doesn't care. And it doesn't. In short, I want two hours of my life back for having sat through this worthless pile of elephant dung.
19. Planet 51
I was kind of surprised when I heard this wasn't actually an American film, but then I realized that it wasn't as if other global animation studios were incapable of producing shitty kids movies as well. Even if Pixar or Dreamworks was producing crap around the time this film came out, Planet 51 would still fail to entertain. The jokes are cheesy, the humor tries way too hard, and the overall animation style is kind of ugly. I get that this is a kids movie and that you shouldn't criticize kids movies too hard, but come on, look at the Pixar films. The difference, however, is that Pixar has created memorable cinematic masterpieces, and this movie is neither memorable nor a masterpiece in any shape or form.
18. Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
If you were a kid in the early 2000's like I was, you probably loved the book Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. So I was excited to see how it would translate into a movie. And upon seeing the trailer, I immediately became upset, and this was only compounded by actually viewing the film. The biggest problem in this film is that the magic from the book is gone. In the book, the raining food was a normal part of the town, which made it whimsical. Here, it is just the result of an invention gone somewhat-wrong. Really, the story is not intriguing or interesting at all, and it has been done to death. This setup is the overused "kid-misfit-does-something-right-and-shoves-it-in-everyone's-face-but-stuff-goes-wrong-and-he-becomes-the-hero" story formula. It is a complete and utter insult to the source material, and is loaded with stupid moments, one-dimensional characters, and some downright annoying animation. Please avoid this one unless you want to be left with a bad taste in your mouth.
17. Piranha 3-D
Yes, I get that this is a cheap horror movie. Yes, I get that this was probably done for comedic purposes. Yes, I get that everyone knows that it's stupid, and they try to enjoy it anyway. But despite all of these things, I still hated this movie. It was just all-around dumb. The story was dull, the characters were too annoying to be likeable, and the entire movie was just a mistake. You may think I am judging it too harshly, and that I should sit back and enjoy it for the fact that it doesn't take itself seriously, but it is impossible for me to do so. These types of horror-comedies only appeal to a specific demographic, and it is one that I am not a part of. Senseless and ludicrous, this film should be skipped.
16. Sharknado 2: The Second One
This film is like if Pirahna 3-D had a much lower budget, and replaced their screewriters with five-year-old boys writing short stories about monsters and robots. To be fair, it is a slight improvement over the first film (much like the second Purge movie), which is why it is a little higher up on the list. This film still has all of the elements that made Sharknado suprisingly entertaining (in a ridiculous way), from the corny acting to the overdone clichès and horrendous editing. However, it is a slight improvement only through the celebrity cameos, which are fairly enjoyable, but do little to save this film. Is it funny? Yes, but only if you are willing to turn your brain off and sit through the rest of this turkey.
15. Jaws 3D
This was the point in the Jaws franchise where they clearly gave up. I mean, not that they hadn't already given up, considering the quality of the last few sequels, but this one really hit the "shitfest" nail on the head. The effects are laughable, the acting is crap, and the story is asinine. (Seaworld, really?) If a film exists solely to market 3-D effects, then it should not even exist at all. What a waste of celluloid and money. In fact, the money spent on this film could have gone to help charities. Think about that.
14. Scooby-Doo
Remember a few moments ago when I talked about Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs being an insult to the original source material? Yes, well, Scooby-Doo did the exact same thing. This film was one of the many live-action kids movies from the early 2000's that ended up as a pile of shit. I think this is mainly due to how, at the time, they were taking animated concepts and making them into live-action movies, which seriously confused and annoyed people. Why mess with success? Did classic stories like Scooby-Doo and Alvin And The Chipmunks really call to be live-action? Plus, the animated Scooby is downright terrifying, and it seriously repelled my interest in seeing it as a kid. To add insult to injury, this trend has not died out: a live-action film based on Jem And The Holograms will be coming out within a few years. And judging by what happened to Scooby (and others), it can be assumed that the film will not turn out well. Please, Hollywood, prove me wrong.
13. Despicable Me 2
Yeah, I understand that I will get a lot of hate for this one. But really, I just didn't enjoy it. The minions humor was overdone to the point of them not being cute anymore, and that problem was just the tip of the iceberg. The story was bland, the dialogue was annoyingly dumbed-down, and the overall animation and coloration was just...a nuisance. Really, I felt like I had fallen into some kind of Play-Dough fueled nightmare. This movie comes off as having the appearance of a kids show rather than a movie that both adults and children can enjoy. And the jokes have been seen before, so it is not like we are watching anything remotely exciting. I didn't like this film, and personally I found it unfunny.
12. Home On The Range
If you ever meet a person who claims that Disney has never half-assed a movie, show them Home On The Range. This has honestly got to be one of the most forgettable animated films in existence. The animation is weird, the characters are boring, and the entire premise is too thin to be compelling or exciting. I am going with Nostalgia Critic here: "Oh. My. God, do I hate this film!" A true disappointment on Disney's part, especially since they have set such a high bar for themselves. I don't even remember a lot about this movie, and that is probably a good thing. There is simply nothing that will stick with you, as compared to other Disney films.
11. High School Musical
I feel that you either loved or hated these movies. While I knew a lot of people who enjoyed them and surrounded themselves (and myself) with them, I couldn't bring myself to like this movie, much less any of the sequels. It is way too corny, way too clichèd, way too bloated with everything that ever made high school media representations to come off as ridiculous and juvenile. What else do you expect from a name like High School Musical? For some, this will bring back a lot of nostalgia. But personally, it just rips open a bunch of annoying memories. And I would rather not go through that again.
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