Most of you should not be surprised that this movie ended up in the top ten. Batman And Robin is literally the corniest, cheesiest, and stupidest superhero flick ever made. The casting choices are baffling: I mean, Clooney as Batman? Really? And to top it off, he is actually a somewhat capable actor (excuse me, more than capable actor), so his horrendous acting in this film can either be attributed to the poor script or the character itself. Uma Thurman, another decent actress, delivers an equally terrible performance, and her dialogue is just as awful and full of puns as Schwarzenegger's character. Nonsensical and completely insulting to the source material, this film is one of the biggest piles of shit that exists in cinema.
9. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2
If you watched the first Twilight and thought it couldn't get any worse, you were very, very wrong. To be fair, I liked the first film, so I was a bit scared to see how the rest of the series would progress. And I was right to be scared. In the simplest of terms, this movie was lazy. The visual effects are awful, the acting is wooden and campy as hell, and the entire film just doesn't flow like it should. Instead of having the series go out with a bang, this film proved that the producers simply gave up and let it die a slow death. It was like they figured, "Ah, well, people are paying to see it anyway, so who cares if the quality is decent?" And the fact that I came to this conclusion is insulting. But hey, at least these movies are finally over.
8. Grown-Ups
Remember back when Adam Sandler made good movies? Those were the days, and unfortunately this movie proves that we have passed that era. I somewhat enjoyed this film the first time I saw it, but that was it. Now, it's just painful to sit through. I cannot believe that these talented comedians have reduced themselves to appearing in these shit-fests. The entire movie is really just a series of three-minute joke setups, and the jokes aren't funny after you hear them once. If you want my advice, enjoy this movie the first time, because that is the only occassion on which it will ever be funny. After that, you begin to see what a real turkey it truly is.
7. After Earth
Newsflash, Hollywood: this whole "nepotism" thing is really getting annoying. What says, "I have a huge ego" more than writing a full screenplay just so you and your son can star in a movie together? I read that this was really just an attempt by Will Smith to elevate his son's movie star status, and boy, did it backfire completely. In fact, if Jaden had any acting chops before this movie, you can be sure that this film completely destroyed them. The only thing that is actually worse about this film is how it was directed by M. Night Shyamalan, who is responsible for some of the absolute biggest pieces of Hollywood garbage in recent years (and yes, the movie you are thinking of is one I will not even mention, as it is too painful to even think of. It's unbearable). Combine it all together, mixed with an extra dose of ugly CGI and a plot that's full of holes, and you get After Earth: a giant, colossal mess that is one of the poorest excuses for cinema, ever.
6. Son Of The Mask
For the past few years, this tended to top the list of the worst comedy films I had ever seen. That spot was later claimed by Grown-Ups 2, but the competition from this flick is awfully fierce. I use the term "awfully" because that is the only word I can use to describe this film, other than "terrifying". I mean, the visuals are so crazy and in-your-face that even adults will be freaked out by it. Thus barely passes for a family picture, if at all, and I'm not sure you could remotely expect any kid with half a brain to enjoy this movie. Not to mention that the characters are extremely, extremely unlikeable, the writing is just lazy, and the whole premise has such little to do with the source material that you wonder how it even qualifies as being a sequel. To this day, it hurts me to think about it.
5. Pearl Harbor
Two words: Micheal Bay. Ever imagined him trying to direct a historical film? Maybe. Ever imagine he would try to use the oppurtunity to remake Titanic and fail in the most miserable way possible? Well, perhaps, but this film proves it. My God is this movie an absolute mess. The fact that it is incredbily slow and boring is one thing, but did it really have to be almost three whole hours long? It doesn't even get to the title event until the last half-hour! So why the hell is this movie called "Pearl Harbor"? It should really be titled, "Watch-These-Terrible-Actors-Weave-A-Boring-And-Stupid-Romance-Plotline-As-You-Wait-For-The-Japanese-To-Show-Up". I want three hours of my life back, and possibly also some validation that the new Transformers film will finally encourage Hollywood to get rid of Micheal Bay once and for all.
4. Grown-Ups 2
After seeing this movie's predecessor, I did not imagine it could ever get worse from there. And, like several other films on this list, I was wrong. In this sequel, I did not feel that Adam Sandler was even trying in the slightest. It's like the entire movie is just him laughing while giving us the finger on his left hand, and waving our money back in our face with his right. The studio apparently thought that a few celebrity cameos would help make up for the rest of the problems that the film presents, but they were incorrect. In fact, it kind of makes everything worse. If you value good comedy, avoid this movie. Please.
3. Sharknado
Some of you may think I am being too nitpicky for putting this movie on the list. Well, you know what? This spot is well-deserved. This is probably the modern equivalent of Plan 9 From Outer Space, which is not exactly a good thing. I don't even know what to say without sounding repetitive: stupid storyline, horrendously campy acting, even worse visual effects, and editing that is of the sloppiest, most awful quality imaginable. The only improvement this film experienced was getting a sequel that was at least a bit more enjoyable. But this one? Painful. Simply put, painful.
2. Food Fight
I think I can hear every Hollywood director that is now deceased turning in their graves. Literally, I don't even see how you can call this a film; to use the word would be an insult. Who thought that it would be a good idea to make something that is essentially a two-hour advertisement for giant food corporations? Not only that, the animation is the worst I have ever seen, the puns are obnoxiously idiotic, the sexual undertones make you uncomfortable, and the entire thing just takes bad to a whole new level. Please, if you want to see this, put away anything you can kill yourself with. Because, trust me, you will want to do so after seeing this film.
1. Plan 9 From Outer Space
Oh, where do I begin? Everything, no really, everything is wrong with this movie. So much, that Plan 9 is legendary for its poor budget, absolutely ludicrous storyline, and atrocious acting. I give Ed Wood a bit of credit, as he didn't have too much to work with. But the reason I put this at the top of the list is because he actually took this movie seriously. And the fact that he actually saw this as a decent film, and had the gumption to actually put it out for people to watch, is why I name this movie as the worst film of all time.
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